Friday, December 14, 2012

Convictions from a Lazy Heart

Hello Dear Ones-

It truly has been a long while since I have posted. My confession: my lazy heart.

In September, I committed to join and study the Book of Genesis with a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) group. I did great.....until week nine came around. Yikes!

The typical things got in the way and the common phrase, "I am really busy" became my excuse. Yes, I was busy, but to my dismay, my busyness lead me to push out God.

So, now that I am on "break" from my job until January, I thought I would catch up on the 4 lessons I have missed, starting at Genesis chapter 10--- the Tower of Babel.

As I began to read the BSF notes on chapters 10 and 11, I felt a sadness in my heart for the people who deliberately chose to forsake God for their own selfish ambitions. They desired to be known and worshiped among their peers. They wanted the power and recognition  They wanted to be in control. They worked long and hard to build this beautiful and tall tower....for their own selfish confidence.

To be honest, I was appalled at their decision to chose selfish gain and selfish confidence over God. And then.......God showed me that I have been very much like these people that I loathed.

God revealed to me my personal expressions of pride, situations where I have called attention to myself (and away from God), and moments where I purposely chose to honor my own heart instead of God's heart.

How can we humans fall into the same repetitive traps (and so quickly?!?!)? How do our hearts become so lazy yet pride full?

The BSF lesson notes asked some very pointed questions:

  • How have you taken satisfaction in other people's support more than in God's closeness?
  • What are you doing right now that might really be for your own advancement and not for God?
  • Where have you deliberately chosen NOT to exalt God's name or His Word?
These are all good questions to ask no matter where you are in your relationship with God. I know that my lazy heart has caused WAY more harm then good! Are you aware of the areas in your life that you tend to put off because of laziness, pride, selfishness, etc.?

God calls us to present ourselves to Him FULLY! I am more convicted of this then ever especially as we enter this special season of Christmas when God purposely sent His Son to live on this earth among the lazy-hearted.

The best gift that you can give this Christmas is a clean, pure heart with obedience, trust and faith. Jesus is waiting to receive this from each of us......

~B~



Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A Gift: Food Allergies

Paul, a well-known apostle of Jesus, once talked about the “thorn in his flesh,” the one thing that kept him reliant on the Lord. Although he never reveals to his readers what this metaphorical thorn was, we can certainly learn from his struggle and surrender.
Asking the Lord three times to remove this particular “thorn,” God never did. I wonder why.
I have many struggles that are hard, if not impossible to overcome. Some are emotional while others are physical…my food allergies!
In the recent weeks, I think I have developed an intolerance to dairy. The last two nights, you could find me either curled up on the floor or on my bed gasping from intense stomach cramps. The first night I think I got only 2 hours of sleep because of the pain.
At first, I felt self-pity….”Why me!?!?” “Really? One more thing to add to my list of 10 food allergies?!?!” “Why now, Lord?!”
This is the conversation occurred in my head as my husband rushed out to find some type of medical relief….I am now VERY thankful for the creators of Lactaid! J
Yet last night, day two of the stomach cramps, as a laid frustrated and restless in bed, the Lord revealed to me Paul’s story mentioned above. Just like Paul, God has “gifted” me with my food allergies (and now dairy intolerance) as a means to press more into Him and to draw me closer to Himself. Could it be that the Lord is saving me from something that I cannot see? Is he protecting me from something that could/would happen if I did not have these “presents?”
I believe that God works all things together for good…even food allergies and dairy intolerances! Whether these things came on simply because we live in a fallen world or because my body chemistry has changed, the reason does not matter. God uses all creation to testify about His glory.
It is easy to see allergies, lost jobs, sick kids, or any other obstacle as a pure burden. I have only found grief, frustration, and anger when I look at things like these as burdens. Instead, I am trying to see them as gifts, as presents, as God protecting me from something bigger…from something I cannot see.
What has God brought into your life that on the surface looks like a burden, but is actually a blessing?


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Opportunity or Inconvenience?


God calls us to be a light to the seeing world, to represent Him everywhere we go. This often takes place during our normal work hours, a planned trip to the grocery store, or during a prayer meeting at church…in those regularly scheduled functions of our daily lives where we are readily seeking opportunities to share. Yet, how is our reaction when God brings about an opportunity to share with someone about His saving grace but it is at an inconvenient time?

For me, this happened twice in one day. And, boy, was I convicted about my reaction at the end of the day!

You see, I teach online classes during the summer; and more often than not you can find me at home, still in my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon. I sit on my cozy leather couch as I grade papers and answer emails.

On this particular day, someone knocked on my door around 9am. By this time, I have barely rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, had sipped my homemade latte, or fixed my “beautiful” morning out-of-bed pony tail. A little frustrated, I stood up, put my computer aside, and went to the door. “Who is it?” I asked…three times! No answer. I peeked out the side window and saw a young girl who looked like she was upset. I opened the door to find a woman standing in front of her…wanting to “evangelize” me. First I was frustrated because I was interrupted (and barely awake). Secondly because there was no reply when I asked who was at the door. Thirdly, I was upset to solicited by another religious group who ignored my nicely painted and prominent “No Soliciting” sign. Needless to say, I was not the sweetest person when a track was being forced into my hand. Cutting off the woman, I think I ended up harshly saying something like, “Please, just don’t bother me with your religious stuff! I have my faith. I love Jesus. Now, take me off your list or whatever. Have a nice day.” I shut the door, pick up my computer and continued to work. 

Failed opportunity #1!

Later in the day, maybe around 3:30pm, a young man from the Honeywell Home Security company comes walking up to my door. By this time, I had showered, gotten dress, and had a meal in my belly. I was not as frustrated as I was earlier in the day. In the middle of preparing dinner, I put down my kitchen utensil and opened the front door. He was a pleasant man, trying to diligently earn his pay by selling home security systems. After asking if I was interested, I kindly said no and pointed out that there was a “No Soliciting” sign posted on the front steps. Taking a step back, he located the sign. I could tell almost immediately that he felt bad for knocking on the door. After a quick exchange, he asked if I knew anyone else in the neighborhood who might be interested. I said no and gently closed the door, walking back into the kitchen. 

Failed opportunity #2!


In both of these stories (that just so happened on the same day!), I saw an inconvenience, not an opportunity. Towards the end of my day, I was wrestling with my reactions. In the first story, I had the amazing opportunity to share about how God moves in my life and answers my prayers daily. In the second story, I had the opportunity to share that God alone is my security, not necessarily a home alarm system (although there is nothing bad to have one or not to have one).

I was simply so caught up in MY life and MY order of business and MY priorities, that I quickly saw these God given opportunities as mere inconveniences and annoyances. I hope in the future I will react differently. I pray that my heart will be more in tune with God then with my schedule of events/planned activities.

Where in your life have you chosen to see God’s opportunities as inconveniences? In these moments, I have to realize that this world is not my home. My citizenship is in Heaven! I hope my heart and attitude in EVERY situation reflect this as well as God’s grace and love. 

On Grieving: Oh Glorious Day


One month ago yesterday, I lost a dear friend in a motorcycle accident. He was 31-years old; survived by his beautiful bride of 9 years and two adorable children, 9 and 7.

This month has been a month of processing, reflecting, grieving, and accepting what happened on July 4, 2012 around 4pm.

Like the ocean waves, my grief comes in waves. One moment I am doing okay; and the next, my heart breaks for the lost (and how it is affecting his family and my friends.)

Yesterday, a group from church held a garage sale to raise money for the family. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of the patrons, yet sad as I told them what we were raising money for. Some people knew about the purpose behind the sale and others were deeply saddened when they heard.

In a way, it was good to share what had happened…almost healing. Yet in another way, it made it real all over again. I know that grief has no timeframe and no real end point; but I pray that it will get easier with time for me and everyone affected (especially his family!).
Today in church we were singing “Oh Glorious Day.” Here are the lyrics that touched me:

Oh, Glorious Day
Oh, Glorious Day

One day the trumpet will
Sound for His coming
One day the skies with His
Glories will shine
Wonderful day
My beloved was bringing
Glorious Savior this Jesus is mine


Never more in my life have I desired Jesus to part the clouds and come down to earth. With recent events, my eyes have been opened to the hurt and sorrow in this world. How I would LOVE to see the Jesus that my friend is now enjoying in Heaven. How I would love to have Jesus as our focus. I guess that is the real hope of my faith, the promise of spending eternity with Jesus. This has also been the one hope that is getting me through this whole situation.

I am thankful to have a Jesus who hears me, comforts me, and never leaves me.
If you pray, please pray for all of us who are still grieving from this terrible lost. I know that His ways are not our ways; and His time not our time. 

“Lord, help us embrace this and turn to you daily as our hope!” ~Amen~

Thursday, June 28, 2012

My Never Satisfied Thirst

Summer is finally here! As I spend more time in the sun, I also find myself thirsty. I walk into the kitchen, open the refrigerator and search for something cold to drink.... juice, lemonade, soda. Anything will do--as long as it is cold!

When I drive home from work, I have also been know to pull over at the closest gas station and pay a ridiculous amount of money for a bottle of fancy, super-purified water.

Regardless how thirsty I seem and how much I try to quench that thirst, the thirst always comes back. Always!

Reflecting on this, I began to draw a "spiritual" connection between my never satisfied thirst and my relationship with Jesus. 

Have I been substituting artificial, sugar-filled, tart drinks for the only true and pure "Water Source?"

Jesus says in John 4:13, 14 "Everyone who drinks of this water [the water at the well] will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life."

WOW! That sounds so much better than my sugary soft-drink or over priced gas station water! Jesus is promising a life forever with Him! He is promising that our deepest desires, those things we thirst and hunger for in this world, will be met by Him (and ONLY Him!). He promises us a life spent in relationship with Him, a sweetness that is sweeter than any sugary-drink or drink substitution. 

Jesus desires to life fully with and in each of us! He has created us to rely on Him.

So, what I have been relying on in my life to fill this space, hole or desire in my life? In the past, it has been relationships, shopping, gossip, a busy schedule, organizing, and cleaning. But what happens when relationships fail? New clothes get torn? People are hurt by my harsh words of gossip?  My schedule is empty? The things I just organized and cleaned get unorganized and dirt?

My reaction varied from depression, anger, and pride. I would just keep trying harder to maintain, do more, say more. Until......I found Jesus! Jesus takes away this desire to strive for earthly satisfaction and "doing more" to relying solely on Him. There is no substitution in the word that can replace what God has given me. 

What God has given me is an eternal, living water! Have you received this "Living Water?" Have you tried desperately to fill an empty hole in your own life by gossip, people pleasing, or maybe something else? God desires to your living water! He desires to be the one who fills every longing that you have. It comes through a relationship with Him! This does not mean your life will be perfect, or that you will never long for anything again. It does mean that God wants to partner with you in your life and  help you find the true value in Him.

Dear Lord-

Please forgive me for trying to find satisfaction in the wrong places. Please forgive me for those I have hurt while doing so. I thank you for giving me a living water (YOU!) so that I will never thirst again. May I continue to rely on you more and more each day instead of myself.

~Amen~

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Representing Christ

Did you know that you may be the only Bible that people see or read?

I am convicted of this very question as I respond to a variety of student emails.

How do I come across to these students? Loving? Fair? Harsh? Strict? Caring? A combination?

My heart is so invested in these students; however, my Type-A personality has a tendency to take over, overseeing that everything is done "by the book."  Is that the heart of Jesus?

As a teacher, I deal with more moral and ethical dilemmas then I ever thought possible. I certainly did not learn about this in college!

Despite my position or yours, we have to remember that we are ambassadors of Christ. This means there will be times that we need to extend grace and mercy instead of punishment or discipline.

How my heart longs to be the grace and mercy-giver; the teacher who is known for compassion over strictly following the law.

I pray for you, too, that the Spirit of the Lord will speak these words to you and show you how you might be able to better display His character; I also pray that you will learn how to be a grace and mercy-giver, just like Jesus.


Dear Lord-

Oh! How I need you every day, especially in my work. Help me show compassion, mercy, kindness and grace to the students you have entrusted me with. Help me represent you and your kingdom. Help me see things from your perspective and not my own. Above all, Lord, let YOUR will be done in my lif and in the hearts of those you have entrusted me with. Thanks you Jesus for your love, compassion, kindness, and mercy. I love you.

~Amen~

Reflection on Marriage


A Reflection on Marriage
Written for a Bridal Shower

Just like your sparkly diamond on your finger, marriage has many different facets. In different lights, you see different aspects of the diamond. At first, you see nothing but sparkles and shine. You are mesmerized by all the glitter. When in the car or sitting at work or even grocery shopping (and should I confess, in church!), you notice this prism out of the corner of your eye. You hold out your left hand and start to dream about all this ring symbolizes. You quickly realize it is the ring that your beloved has given you and also a promise of a new life together with him.  You feel blessed, excited and maybe a bit scared about what the future holds. Don’t worry, this is normal!

When taking a closer look at the diamond, you see reflections of the things around you as well as a few imperfections in the diamond. For a short moment, all you see are these flaws. Often times, pointing out things that no one else can see. This is a great example of what we often do to our self and also what we can do to our spouse. Picking out the flaws of the other person or comparing the marriage with other couples creates a hostile and uncomfortable environment. In marriage, it is so easy to see the faults of the other person and/or avoid being vulnerable or transparent with our husbands out of fear of rejection. If it is one thing that marriage has taught me, it has been both my husband and I are flawed people. It is through being transparent and vulnerable with each other that we have been able to work through a lot of these flaws (or misunderstandings) to get to a point where they are hardly noticed. Marriage (and Jesus) has taught me how to look past the outwardly imperfections to appreciate the unseen facets of my husband. The marriage, more often than not, reflects the sparkle and shine of the brand-new diamond because of the vulnerability, transparency and communication invested in the relationship. I pray this for you both!

As we move through life, there are also times when the luster of the diamond is hidden because of dirt and grime that builds up from baking cookies or doing yard work. However, thank goodness for the jewelers who quickly work their magic to restore the shiny luster of the ring to reveal the diamond we fell in love with.  Confessing/forgiving regularly is even more important than getting your ring cleaned regularly! Spending regular and quality time with the “Jeweler of our Soul”  will help your marriage in so many ways! Often times, hurts or frustrations build up until one day there is just piles of unspoken hurt. Just like your ring, regular cleanings and maintenance are a must! It is important to schedule special time for just the two of you to talk about where you are both at in the marriage.
To say the least, we can certainly learn a lot from a ring, but we can learn a whole lot more looking to the Creator of the ring, our Lord Jesus.

Now that we have examined a few facets of marriage, I would like to share with you a five things I wish I would have known before I was married:
1)     God does the convicting! It is neither my job title nor my job description! (2 Timothy 2:24-26)
·         Although, like Eve, I want to convince my husband that my way is right (or even better), I have discovered that prayer works a whole lot better than just telling my husband what to do. It might take an extra hour or even a day, but the Holy Spirit is faithful to convict my husband of areas that need to be corrected. This has also been a lot better for our relationship, too!
2)     It really is not all about me and my preferences, but rather considering my husband above myself. Paul convinced me on this in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
·         Things like: how to put the dishes away, how to fold the bath towels, or what the word “clean” really means.
·         I had to ask myself, “Will eternity be positively affected because the dishes were put away “MY” way?” I have found that 99.9% of the time, the answer to one of these issues is, “No!”
·         I was shocked when I learned this! J  (But my way is still right! J/J)
3)     It was important to not only physically, but emotionally/mentally leave my parents.
·         As Cristina Davidson says it, “Go to the throne and not the phone.”
·         It was a hard transition to go from always seeking the advice from my parents to seeking advice from my husband. It is important to learn to trust your husband.
·         What I have learned is the best course of action is first prayer and then talking with my husband. There was a heavy desire to go outside of my marriage for advice (or to complain); however, I have learned that it is important that I see my husband as my new best friend.
4)     I should be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
·         Oops! I am still learning this one! J
5)     I have more power and influence over my husband than I thought.
·         Recognizing this, it became a huge responsibility.
·         Am I encouraging my husband or putting him down?
·         Am I steering him towards Christ or seeking to fill my own desires/needs/wants?
Overall, marriage is a wonderfully designed institute! Just like your sparkly diamond on your finger, marriage has many different facets. It calls you to examine your heart and your motives for doing or saying something. This is not always comfortable, but when God calls two people together, it is amazing the transformation that takes place not only in your own heart but in this newest season of your relationship.

Colossians 3:12-19  Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.   Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Are you valued by God?


Often times in this busy world, it can seem that my life is insignificant. It can seem that the things I do or say rarely matter and that no one see what is truly in my heart (despite all of "my" efforts to show them!).

I find myself drifting from a complete surrender and abandonment for God to a complete addiction to the world. My heart is sad by this rejection of the ONE who crowns me with honor and glory...for what do I do with that honor and glory---- I take it for granted, turn from it, abuse it.

Have you been there? Maybe you are there now.....

When I sat down for quiet time this morning and pondered Psalm 139, I was SO thankful for the God who protects me, regardless of my state-of-mind or addiction to the world.

Have you ever read Psalm 139? If so, you have seen the value that God has placed on us.

If you haven't read Psalm 139 (or it has been awhile), I challenge you to dig in!

In this Psalm, He tells me the following:
  • Verse 1- He understands me
  • Verse 2- He knows my schedule
  • Verse 3- He knows when I sleep and when I arise
  • Verse 4- He knows what I will say even before I think or say it (this one was convicting!)
  • Verse 5- He surrounds me and keeps me secure
  • Verse 9-10- His hand guides and holds me
  • Verse 13- He created me and put me together in my mother's womb
  • Verse 14- He has made me wonderful
  • Verse 15- He knows everyday I have lived and will live

WOW!! If that does not say that I am valued, I do not know what does! It is incredible to me how much God values me. He values you just the same!

Dear God-
Thank you for showing me my value to you and caring for me even before I was born. Your kindness, love, and guidance overwhelm me. I pray that I will remember my value to you; and in doing such I will turn from the luring things of this earth to serve you and those you place before me. May my life bring honor and glory to you.
Amen.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Crowned with GLORY & HONOR!


"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; 
you put everything under their feet..." 

Psalm 8:5-6


Who am I that God is mindful of me? ...that He would crown me with glory and honor?

I am simply amazed.

As I have been working through my most recent Bible study, God is showing me how much He deeply cares for me. As He show me this, I am immediately shocked.

Really, me God? You deeply care for me? Why would God care so deeply for me, a sinner, a person who seems to mess up all of the time, a person who makes wrong decisions (or no decisions). 

I am perplexed. And to top it all off, He crowns me with glory, honor and give me the responsibility of caring for His creation.

How trusting our God is! How perfect are His ways!

From a young age God has been calling me to Himself. He desires to have a relationship and friendship with me. After all, I am made after His image! As I reflect on this (particularly on Father's Day), I find myself looking at God as a Father. I see how His "Father Heart" desires me to be "crowned with glory and honor" just as my earthly father does. It is a bit shocking to read this scripture and truly take it to heart.

Believing that scripture is God breathed, I desire to take hold of this passage and claim it in my life. I pray that I can use the glory and honor God has already crowned me with to glorify and honor God. I pray that my attitude, thoughts and emotions would reflect this precious gift and responsibility that Christ has called me into.

After reading this Psalm, what is God speaking to you?

Monday, May 28, 2012

What is Jesus teaching you?

When I was in Bible school, I would always be asked the question, "What is Jesus teaching you?" What a great and thought-provoking question! When taken to heart, this question really reveals how deep and intimate my relationship with Jesus really is.

The past few days have brought a new awareness about my relationship with Jesus. My husband had his last day of work so that he can go to medical school full-time. On Thursday, my husband (and 8 others) left in hopes to summit Mount Rainier. The next day, I had two friends arrive from Germany, one of which was my roommate in Bible school. They will be staying in our home for a week. There has been a lot of transition and worry in my life over the last few days.

Last night, as I sat with my two German friends and my husband (who climbed off the mountain due to avalanche conditions), we asked each other this question, "What is Jesus teaching you?"

It took me a second to collect my thoughts. My mind was overwhelmed and distracted by the dirty ice cream bowls on the table and the dishes that needed to be turned on. In that moment of chaos, I fully looked to Jesus and reflected on all that HE has been teaching me.


  • Live IN today without worrying. Do not live in tomorrow because we are not guaranteed anything but today. 
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34
  • As my husband was climbing the mountain, I found myself in constant prayer about his safely. God showed me that this is the way I am supposed to be everyday regardless of what is happening in my life. He calls me to be in conversation with Himself all day. 
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18
  • Like Jesus, I need to take time away to be with God. My German friends are WONDERFUL at this and such a great example. They ask to go alone on a walk or say they don't want anything but time with Jesus. WOW! I need their example in my life!
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35
  • We were all made for a purpose, step into it without comparison to others. 
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
  • He is reminding me that it is a blessing to serve and doing so I am giving myself fully to Jesus. The more opportunities I receive, the more I understand my spiritual gifts of serving and hospitality. 
"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." 1 Peter 4:10
  • Allow others to serve me because this could be their spiritual act of worship.

So, those are just a few things that God had reminded me of over the last week. It was a great question to be asked last night; it was even greater to stop to reflect and verbalize all that He has been doing. 

So, I ask you, "what has Jesus been teaching you?"

Saturday, May 26, 2012

What have I done with my Gift?

Recently, I have found myself caught up in the materialistic world (even if only in my head). I compare what I have (or don't have) with the possessions of others. My faulty thinking leads me to believe that I "NEED" this new thing or that new object to have a complete life. It is not bad to desire nice things or save up for a special something; however, I must remember that my life is not my own. My life is a gift from God. 

What have I been doing with my gift?

It reminds me of John's caution against the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the boastful pride of life. (1 John 2:16)

The NLT states it this way, 

"For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world."


WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Have I really strayed that far from God that I consider and label the things that God has given me as not enough? When I talk to God and "tell" Him all the things I need, aren't I, in  a sense, telling Him what He has given me is not really enough.....give me more?


I display the characteristics of one with an ungrateful heart. Shame on me! The interesting part is that I think that I am good, that I am okay, and that "it is well with my soul." How easily I can become a hypocrite. I must remember that,


"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT)

Paul writes, "....there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:12)

So, in the light of these scriptures, I must remember that the only good in me is Jesus. When I walk away from Him and no longer have relationship with Him, my desires turn quickly to the world. My heart begins to deceive me and my selfishness becomes my primary goal in life. 

I realize (again) that there is a drastic difference between a want and a need, a difference of living in the natural verses living in the spiritual, and a difference between being self-dependent and God-dependent. My desire should be this:


"Do nothing from selfish or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Phil. 2:3,4)

So, here is my prayer:


Dear Jesus-
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Today, I need you. I turn away from my faulty thinking. I turn away from my selfish desires. I pray that YOUR will be done in my life and that I might be obedient....at all costs. Please forgive me for my wicked and divided heart. May my thoughts only be to serve you and by doing so, serve others. I thank you that my sins are forgiven and that I am dearly loved by you. Teach me your ways, Lord, that I might display your love, grace, and peace to others. I love you, Jesus!  ~Amen~


Where is your heart and motivations today?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

God wisdom is foolishness to this world

Be anxious for nothing. Be anxious for nothing. Be anxious for nothing.

As I sit here at Starbucks, that is the verse that is being repeated in my head. I fight my flesh. "How can I be anxious for nothing when I have NO IDEA what is going to happen?!?!?"

My mind is flooded with, "What if?" and "I don't know if I can!" and "I don't even know how to start." and "What if no one likes me or what I bring to the table?"

When typing this, I am convicted of two particular situations....both, I might add, are out of my control.

In my flesh (especially my curse as a woman [Gen. 3]) I am prone to the desire to want to control. Yet, God has called me to trust in Him and Him alone for HE is in control. (Romans 8:26, Jer. 29:11)

Since I was 13 years old, I have soaked in scripture. I know the verses in the gospels and the epistles that tell me not to worry, but really what does this transaction look like? ....the transaction of releasing my worries to Jesus. Advice from friends make it sound so easy....just give your life to Him, just let it go, you know that God has your back. The words of "encouragement" go on and on (whether they are from friends or from the programmed responses in my head). Either way, I drown myself in anxious thoughts and worries.

Although I may not know the outcome of my two situations for awhile (one in a few weeks and the other at least 6 months!), Jesus calls me to rest in Him.

 ""Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matt. 11:28, 29

It seems so easy, doesn't it? I just see this picture of Jesus, holding His arms open just for me... to snuggle me in His warm and compassionate embrace.

In this realization, I remember that "He MAKES ME lay in green pastures." (Psalm 23:2; emphasis added).  And "He [alone] restores my soul." (Psalm 23:3). He has gifted me with two very difficult opportunities to trust in Him.  The wisdom of God is sometimes foolishness to this world, but these two particular situations are a gift and an opportunity to trust in my Maker. 

So, I surrender. I CHOSE to: trust, let the peace of Christ wash over me, "allow" His will to be done above my own, entrust Him with my future, and stop being afraid.

In this season of life, I cling to this verse, 

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." (Phil. 4:6)

What truth are you clinging to when you are faced with the SIN of worrying? The sin of being anxious? The sin of controlling? The sin of denying Christ the right to rule in ALL areas of your life? 

Release it! "For who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Luke 12:25)
 
Passages about worry, anxious thoughts and the peace of Christ:
  • Matthew 6:25-34
  • Philippians 4:6
  • Luke 12:25
  • 1 Peter 5:7
  • Isaiah 43:1-3
  • 2 Thessalonians 3:16
  • Proverbs 3:5-6 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Addictions of the Mind & Distractions of the Heart

Our brains are one of the most complex parts of our bodies. It is the decision and communication center for everything we do in our daily life: breathing, blinking, memorize facts for a test, or remember important details for a work project. In essence, the brain acts as our command center, directing our choices, holding our thoughts, and pushing us into action.

Realizing the important function of my very personal "command center," I begin to wonder what exactly is directing my choices, thoughts, and action. It is scary to think that many religions tell me to "empty my mind." My mind has to be filled with something, right? Hearing this, I become desperate for the One and Only to fill my mind (even if I don't always understand what it is He is saying to me.) As it says in Isaiah, "His ways are not our ways; his thoughts not our thoughts." Certainly I want the Creator of EVERYTHING to occupy and control my mind, yet I fall short.

Although I try desperately to hand over the controls of my thought life to God, I find myself convicted about the many addictions that cloud my mind.

"ADDICTIONS!?!?!" Yes, I said that ugly word! Addictions!

You may question this, thinking, "What? Brandi has addictions?" Or, on a more personal note you might be secretly denying your addictions. Regardless, we all have them....whether they are "just" in our minds or are played out in our actions. We call them by many names: addictions, habits, issues, minor distractions, minor obsession, or just a "little hang-up."

No matter what you or I call "it," "it" (our addictions) slowly lure our minds away from Christ.

I find myself battling God over who has the right to control my mind. I fight against my will as the Holy Spirit pursues me with great passion. At times, my desperation for these addictions surprises and scares me. I ask myself, "Why is this battle so hard? I know the right way, the Only way." Yet, for some reason, sin takes over; and the battle rages.

In these times, God slowly speaks to me, "Your need and desperation should only be for ME, child. Not things, positions, relationships, recognitions." What other reaction can I have to that but shock? His truth brings conviction straight to my heart.

God speaks tenderly to me in this battle of will and emotion. You see, no matter what I do, my God (our God) is a compassionate, gentle, and loving God. The prophet Joel writes, "Rend your heart.... Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." (Joel 2:12)

When life begins to drown me and my addictions take over,  I simply need to look up and surrender. I need to remember that, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) The ONLY ONE who can understand it is the Creator of my heart and of my mind. Am I willing to let go, give up, release, abandon, and yield my addicted mind and distracted heart to God? Because it is only then that God can shine through me. It is only then I am perfected in my weakness. It is only then that I become who God has created me to be: a reflection of His grace.

What addictions are pulling you away from Christ? What distractions are filling your heart? I beg you to go before the Lord to repent, surrender, and be filled anew with His precious love and life! It is a process, yes; however, the first step is recognition and surrender! Christ died to set us free!

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  (Gal. 5:1)



Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Denying Christ.

Which areas of your life are you denying Christ?

This past weekend at the Women's Retreat for my church, God asked me just this very question. Of course, I quickly replied to Him, "I am not knowingly denying you any area of my life, Lord."

Then He replied, "Well, what about this area and that area?"

For the sake of this blog, these areas do not need to be mentioned, but needless to say, my jaw dropped!

Was I really one of "those" people who thought I was 100% free from denying Christ any area of my life? Did I really think that God did not care about those two particular areas of my life? I mean, after all, I had hid them SOOOOO well. Yea, right!

After some weeping and anger, I was able to come before the Lord and apologize for my attitude and my unwilling heart. Getting to the point of apology and a humbled spirit is never easy (at least for me), yet is is amazing how closely my Lord knows what is happening in my heart and mind. 

When I first began to deny Christ these two areas, I began to push them deep down and "ignore" them. Soon, there were only anxious thoughts and well-laid plans. But with Christ, nothing can be pushed down too far or hidden in the depths of that secret place without Him knowing about it.

The theme passage this weekend was Psalm 139. It asks these two questions, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your Presence? If I go to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there..." (verses 7,8)

God knows us so intimately. It shouldn't be shocking; however, this weekend the Lord Himself spoke to me. He spoke words of discipline, words of action, and also words of love and encouragement. 

Although I am still wrestling with what the Lord has spoken to me, I feel released from worry, stress, and anxiety. Knowing that God cares so much for me that He would bring these two very important issues up and provide a way, makes me realize how great our God really is!

So, I ask you, what areas of your life are you denying Christ? 

I challenge you to seek the Lord. He will not only be faithful to answer you, but He will be faithful to walk with you. I pray that you will sense His peace and presence as you do business with God!

Blessings!

Some Helpful Scriptures:
  • Psalm 139
  • Jeremiah 31:3-5
  • Matthew 6:25-34
  • Romans 8:28-39
  • 1 Corinthians 3:16-23


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Everyone Can Do Something

Back in November, I attended the youth service at church. I overheard a conversation among a few of the teens. The one phrase that has been seared into my mind is, "We are teenagers. We don't count."

Now, I do not want to be presumptions, but don't these teenagers know the God who created them and who loves them? One of the most famous scriptures says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever should believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) We all count to God! If we didn't He would not have sent His only beloved son to die for your behalf!

My heart aches for these kids (and everyone!) to know the depth of God's love and the sacrifices He made to make that possible. As I have been pondering this, I was reminded of this quote:
"No one can do everything, 
but every one can do something."

We ALL count!! We ALL matter!! We are ALL born with a purpose!! We have ALL been given different gifts to help each other out (even though your gift may seem insignificant to you)!!! "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."  (1 Peter 4:10)

I am so encouraged by this! 

Imagine if we all develop a greater confidence in the LORD, a greater confidence in the abilities and gifts that He has given us, and a greater confidence in our personal relationship with Him. WOW! Our world would be a drastically different place.

When I start to think big like this, I find myself overwhelmed. I find myself reverting back to my faulty thinking that says, "You can't change the world," "This problem is too big for just one person to handle," "You don't have the proper training."

Once I start down this path of thinking, it can be very difficult to escape the dark cave of my mind. I remind myself much of the teenagers who all "agreed" that they did not count.

Yet when I look at TRUTH (the Person of Jesus), I see where my thinking departed from His thinking. 

  1. First Truth: I cannot change the world. BUT Christ IN ME can!
  2. Second Truth: Jesus was 30 when he started his "public" ministry.....well, I am just 1 day away from that! :)
  3. Third Truth: I may not have any formal or "earthly" training, but the scripture says that the Spirit of the Lord will speak for me.

Now, there is a caveat to these three truths mentioned above. I must partner with God.

  • I MUST be obedient to God (Deut. 5:33)
  • I MUST spend time in His presences 
  • I MUST know His character (which I learn from reading scripture)
  • I MUST learn to rely on His way and not my own (John 14:6)

We must remember that God is with us! "What, then, should we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) He is not only the cheerleader (or coach) on the sidelines, He is right there with us as we journey this life together!

So, where can you "count"? Where in your life can you allow God to use the gifts that He has given you? Remember, it is not about us or about our ability. It is about Christ in you, the hope of glory!" (Col. 1:27)


To learn more about these "spiritual gifts," here are some suggested reading:

  • Romans 12:4-10
  • 1 Corinthians 12
  • Ephesians 4
  • 1 Peter 4:9-10

Tulips! God's Great Creation!

A little of God's Creation!
 Skagit Valley Tulip Festival

My tulip "field"

God is Great Than Me? Really?

"Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God higher than any other."


If you have listened to Christian radio lately, the above phrase has you humming the Chris Tomlin song titled, "Our God." What amazing words that capture the heart of our heavenly Father. Listening evokes this image of such a powerful, loving God who is also so personal with each one of us.


The first time I really listened to the words of this song was at the "Passion" conference in British Columbia in 2010. With over 20,000 voices singing their hearts out unashamedly, I sensed God smiling down on the arena. For a moment, as the strobe lights flashed about and the stage smoke dissipate, I stopped to listen and observe. This 20,000 person choir was a sight to behold!! Hands lifted, voices crying out, and hearts being brought closer to the True and Only Savior. I was breath-taken.


Today, I am brought back to the Power of the One the song is about: Christ. As I rolled out of bed this morning, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I made the bed, I tuned into the Chris Tomlin radio station on Pandora. "Our God," was the first song that played. In a new way, I was struck by this one phrase in the chorus, "Our God is higher than any other."


These words pierced my heart deeply. In my sleepiness, the first question that came into my mind was, "Really? God is even greater than me!?!?!" Now that I am FULLY awake (with a few cups of coffee and all!) I realize how silly this question was, yet I see a telling truth that needs to be teased out.


The world in which we live in is truly all about us. Fast food restaurants like Burger King tell us to "Have it your way." Starbucks tells us that our "Drink should be perfect all of the time. If not, let us remake it." On-Demand and Netflix make it easy for us to watch what we want, when we want. Stores like Albertson's and Safeway are now delivering groceries to your door at your convenience. The use of "smartphones" allows a person to obtain maps, facts, pictures....really whatever you want! I can create the world I want. I can surround myself with what I want. Me! Me! Me.


I am NOT saying that technology is horrible or Burger King is the devil or having an preferences are bad; however, I am convicted that I have let the patterns of this world, the acceptable practices of this world, to rule my life. Don't get me wrong, I love having my hamburger "my way" and the most "perfect," delicious, handcrafted double-tall-1 pump raspberry-nonfat-170 degree-latte. BUT where do I allow Christ to rule my life?


When in my life do I ask God to step in and transform my mind to focus on Him and His will for my life? When do I recognize my proper place in His Kingdom?


It is hard for me to think of "my" things as God's things.  "My" family as God's family. "My" money as God's money. It was even hard for me when I got married (a little over a year and a half ago) to combine bank accounts with my husband! I want to have full control over my life, my finances, my schedule and by golly, how the clothes got folded!!!! In 1 Timothy 6:7, I am reminded, "For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing our of it." So, what control do I really have?


In my spiritual mind, I am saying, "Where does true eternal value lay in consulting God on spending the money He gives me, or giving of my borrowed time on earth to help a neighbor?"  Does it come from justifying my sin? Does it come from elevating myself above others? Does it come from mocking others to cover my own insecurities? In my flesh I battle with pride, arrogance, greed, selfishness. Then I am reminded of this verse, 1 John 2:16 " For ever"ything in the world---the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world."


YIKES! I am so far into the world that I did not even realize it! Since when did I become "greater" than God, the Creator?! Expecting everyone to wait on my hand and foot? Blasphemy! May it NEVER be so! "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yer forfeit their soul?" Matthew 16:26


God has chosen me (us). And because He has chosen me (us), I (we) have to come to an understanding about who I (we) am (are) in Christ. (John 15:19) I may not be popular in this world...even hated by the world. I will (learn to) sacrifice much of my own selfish desire to submit to His will. I may seem weak to those who do not understand the God I serve (2 Corinthians 12:9). Yet, I go back to Chris Tomlin's song. I am reminded that "Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God higher than any other....(even me!!!!)" And for that I am thankful!


I need to heed the advice of the author James and "...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27 This is no easy task, but I must ALWAYS remember "For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath." (Deut. 4:31).  God is indeed, Greater, Stronger, and Higher than any other...even me!!!  Where do you position God in your life?