In less than a week our house will be ransacked by a one year old, two year old and three 1/2 year old. To say we are busy is an understatement. Our almost 1-year old learned how to crawl this week (using the splits... of all ways to learn how to crawl. It is HILARIOUS!). Our two year old learned how to climb out of his crib this week too, resulting in the crib bolted to the wall and the mattress placed directly on the floor. Our three and 1/2 year old is growing which means she is never full and is sleeping a lot (or just a little cranky when she doesn't get enough sleep). Yet-- our hearts are full. We are BLESSED beyond all measures.
Around this time a year ago, I was admitted to the hospital with the unknown condition of our third child. At 32 weeks gestation, the medical world could not determine what was causing all of my medical complications. It was a scary time. We are so thankful to my parents who took our oldest two without a blink so that I could be hospitalized. In the last few weeks of the month of March, the memories of this time often flood back into my mind (without permission!) and take me back to the physical pain I felt as well as the emotional stress.
Fast-forward to present, our world is much different. Our "little" preemie is now 25 pounds and moving like crazy. He is not yet meeting ANY of his adjusted-age milestone (according to the medical world) but to me HE IS PERFECT! To be honest, he really is acting like an 8-month old...something most people don't understand. I feel like I have to constantly justify why my 12-month old can't feed himself, why he can't figure out a sippy cup or why his is not yet pulling to a stand or starting to practice walking. It is a tough world that, thankfully, most people have never had to deal with.
Today marks another milestone: his one-year surgical follow-up and x-ray. For some reason, tears just flooded my eyes as I typed that. This appointment will determine if the tumor that was in his right lung at birth has grown back or is (hopefully) gone forever. There have been many times this past year I have cried, worried and wondered if there is a tumor growing in my sweet precious Ollie...again something, thankfully, most people have never had to deal with. In a matter of hours we will hop into our car and make the dreaded 45-minutes North to the hospital where our son spent his first 16-days of life. It is all too clear---that unknown time of "Will our son live or will our son die?" We will walk in today, stroll past the check-in desk, past the Starbucks (where we found a little reprieve during his stay), towards the elevators that will take us to the NICU floor...where we said goodbye to our son on a few different occasions. Yet today instead of the NICU we will visit radiology for an x-ray and then wait to see the surgeon face-to-face to hear him speak the words that will determine the next steps for our son.
Today has many implications.
I am more emotional than I thought I would be. Regardless, today WILL be a good day! I am thankful that Jesus walks before us in all things as well as walks with us! So...please join us today in great anticipation of such a simple x-ray that could change the medical treatment of our son.
