Saturday, April 1, 2017

Growing a boy: Bed Rest Day 4 (Bad News Day)

Friday, March 31: Bed Rest Day 4... 33 weeks pregnant!

In the dark of my hospital room, I sit here in silence reflecting on all of the news we have heard today. Having thought yesterday was emotional and chaotic, today was NOTHING in comparison...it was much worse.

I slept fitfully during the night. The longest stretch of sleep was probably two hours. On top of everything else we are processing, we are both fighting a cold! This makes it difficult to breath or stay asleep for long periods of time. Often I wake-up gasping for air because of either contractions or this icky cold. I was put on a liquid only diet until morning... just in case a c-section was needed. I was starving. The last time I ate was a few bites of a sandwich around 1pm yesterday before I was told to stop eating again. My mind was racing from the chaos of the day before.

As dawn approached, I sat in my bed wondering what today would hold. Knowing we would have a follow-up ultrasound today, at 6am Tyler asked me if we had one scheduled. I called the nurse and to our surprise, they got us in first thing at 7am! A miracle. We had to wait for the results (and I had to wait to eat!) until we received the ultrasound report around 9am. The news was not favorable. The results displayed possible fluid in baby boy's tummy. Also, my AFI went from 57 to about 41...this is good but in 24-hours where did this fluid go? In 24-hours, why did baby start to display fluid in his stomach when nothing appeared in the ultrasound yesterday? The ultrasound sent up many red flags.

Because of these initial results, we ran around today get more testing done. I had yet another blood draw to test for possible infections (my poor veins!); we were taken across the street to get an ultrasound done on baby's heart to rule out congestive heart failure among other things; and our third ultrasound of the day looked at his brain to see if he is anemic. Seeing the trajectory going towards having baby early, we stopped at the NICU for a quick tour to process the fact that our sweet boy would end up being cared for in that unit for several weeks.

It seemed at each point throughout the day more and more questions arose. In the heart ultrasound taken later in the day, it appeared baby may have fluid also in his lungs in addition to more fluid than previously seen on the ultrasound this morning. Once we were back in our room the specialist came in to talk with us about all of the days results. Around 4:30pm we finally learned what all of this information really meant. The tests all came back negative for probable reasons why this was happening until we learned about hydrops. Defined as:
Hydrops fetalis (fetal hydrops) is a serious fetal condition defined as abnormal accumulation of fluid in 2 or more fetal compartments, including ascites, pleural effusion, pericardial effusion, and skin edema. In some patients, it may also be associated with polyhydramnios and placental edema. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/974571-overview
From the above description, this is obviously a very serious condition. He is not currently diagnosed with hydrops but all of the indicators are point that way. We really won't know until he is born what is exactly wrong with him but we were told he has a 50/50 chance of survival.

HE HAS A 50/50 CHANCE OF SURVIVAL...
He will end up in the NICU for several weeks, if he survives. He may need chest tubes and a stomach drain. If his lungs are not doing well, he maybe intubated. He may need surgery if they find blockages in his esophagus and/or intestines (or other areas of concern). So many more unknowns

But here is the silver lining:
  • He appears to be a big baby for his age (6-7 pounds at just 33 weeks)...sizing might be wrong due to the amount of fluid in my belly.
  • I received steroid shots earlier in the week to help his lungs develop
  • We are in a controlled hospital environment in case anything should happen...they can quickly get baby out.
  • And most importantly, we have GOD ON OUR SIDE!!! This increases our "odds" because if God wants this baby to survive then he will despite the medical odds! This brings us great comfort. 
It has been an extremely hard day to process the news we received and I don't think we have fully grasped it. However, we know we are covered in prayer and that God is WAY bigger than anything we face.

SO here is the plan:
  • Try to keep baby in until I am 34 weeks...gives him a better chance of breathing on his own and physically be able to handle what this world will give him.
  • We will have another ultrasound on Sunday to determine if/how these fluid levels have changed...in my belly and in his belly/lungs.
  • If at any point my water breaks, I dilate past 3cm or if baby is in distress, it calls for an immediate c-section. There are teams on standby.
  • If we make it until Thursday, we will have another ultrasound in preparation for our Friday morning c-section.
How are we doing:
  • Tyler:
    • Physically: he is sick, fighting off this cold, coughing a lot, exhausted...its hard to sleep on the little pull out bed in the hospital room.
    • Emotionally: he is slowly processing through the events of the past few days. With is medical knowledge I think he worries about it more than me simply because he knows more. He is doing a wonderful job at supporting me. I have encouraged him to leave the hospital twice to help with becoming too stir crazy. 
    • Overall, he is fighting the good fight.
  • Brandi:
    • Physically: contractions suck. Often times I cannot always feel them because my belly is so full of fluid. It is hard to move around because of all the extra fluid weight I am carrying. I try to get up to "walk" every hour or so (and by walk I mean either a few circles in our room or if I am really brave I walk to down the hall two rooms and come back). I am still exhausted. Between contractions, the excess fluid, and baby moving it is very difficult to get comfortable. I literally have about 8 or 9 pillows on my hospital bed. It is frustrating to feel so sleep deprived while dealing with all this news. I also have to be monitored for at least 30 min. every 4-hours...contractions and baby's heartbeat. This is not my favorite or most comfortable part of the day but highly necessary.
    • Emotionally: I felt like I took today surprisingly well despite the 50/50 outcome. I am processing what it might be like WHEN he survives but also preparing myself for the possible scenario if he doesn't. I feel well loved and supported. I do miss our other two littles but I am thankful they will visit us tomorrow, Saturday.
So, what can you do?
  • Many friends have been asking, "what can we do?"
    • Pray! Get all your friends to pray! We believe in the power of Jesus to heal our little boy! He is knitting baby in my womb just the way He wants and we need to trust that God never makes mistakes...no matter the outcome.
    • Text messages: Although we might not reply to each one individually (or at all) it is WONDERFUL to know that you are indeed praying for us.
    • Short visits without kids. At this time we are limiting visitors to about 1 or 2 per day. It can add stress if kiddos come along as well as possibly more sick germs so we ask that you don't bring them into the hospital room. If you would like to visit, please let us know! We love getting "breaks" from this hospital life. Know that if you do visit, we might ask you to leave if Brandi has to get monitored, checked or if one of our doctors comes in.
    • Meals/Snacks: at this time we do not "need" food HOWEVER...at day 3 hospital food is already getting bland and boring for me and Tyler usually has to run to the cafeteria for food and snacks. We have a small refrigerator in our room with access to a microwave down the hall. :)
    • Ideas to pass the time: we brought one board game and have already watched what feels like a million hours of TV (if you know us we hardly watch TV) so feel free to bring any ideas/activities to help us pass the time.
Okay...that that was a long blog but I think the most telling of where we are with the current situation. I will try my best to keep everyone updated with daily blogs...really just depends on what is happening. We can't thank you enough for joining in this journey with us.

Stay tuned...more to come (hopefully)....

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