Growing in Faith: Witnessing a miracle

Have you ever witnessed a miracle? In my time on earth I certainly have seen a few but in my passage reading today one stands out. It relates to Jesus feeding the crowd of 5,000+ and the crowd of 4,000+ (Matthew 14, 15).

In these passages of Scripture, Jesus takes a few loaves of bread and a few fish and somehow makes it MORE than enough for the people present...even leftovers. Impossible?

Years ago I attended Bible school in Canada. For nine-months I lived on an island with my fiance (and 120 other students from around the world) studying ~85% of the Bible. We participated in daily chores, housekeeping duties, grounds maintenance and once per month outreach activities. During my time there, I participated in a outreach at a local mission. We conducted music for Sunday service, helped in the food bank and on occasion served warm food to our sitting patrons. It was an incredibly humbling and enjoyable act of service. 

On one particular night, a local church was providing the hot Friday night meal--- Chinese food. Boy, it smelled delicious! The weather outside was less than ideal. Dumping rain and frigid temperatures brought in more diners than the normal 100. I forget the number now, but I think the number of people who came for a hot meal was over double than what was expected. The big question: how were we going to serve ALL of these people?

As servers, with hot food dished on paper-plates in hand, we ran back and forth from the kitchen to the seated guests. We had to inform the diners that only one plate of food could be brought out/served per customer (which was not the normal custom). There were many disappointing faces yet they understood. About half way through the night, my fiance and I went once again to check on the food supply. More and more individuals were filing in, needing a free hot meal. 

To our astonishment, the silver trays of Chinese food never when past half empty! We began to serve seconds and thirds. More and more people continued to seek refuge from the cold...AND THERE WAS ENOUGH!  Before our eyes, we witnessed a miracle! No one was "sneak cooking" or adding to the already prepared food...there literally was no more food to give. Yet God, SOMEHOW, made it enough!

To this day, I have NO IDEA how this even happened in practical terms. It literally happened before my eyes and I am still stunned. At the end of the night, there was more than enough food for ALL of the volunteers AND some food leftover as well. Amazing. 

This story reminds me that God will always provide! He does this in unexpected and surprising ways and in the end, all He asks is that we give Him glory for the work He has done.

What miracle(s) is God working on in your life right now? How might you be able to bless others because of the ways God has provided for you?

Amazing, isn't it?

Growing a boy: When things are good

Hello All (whom ever you are!). I want to thank you for joining me on this journey of musing. I have learned that this blog has created a space for me to process (and grieve at times) as well as remind me of how connected I am (our family is) to those surrounding us. Recently, I was reading blog posts from a year ago. Through this activity, I realized that this space is so necessary for my personal journey. It has brought emotional healing, revelation, tools (sent by you, the readers) and more than anything, it has pointed me back to the Creator.

So in this season, when things are tough but good, I wanted to THANK YOU for always being part of this Oliver Adventure. Oliver has taught us so much about our need to rely on God. He is amazing for showing us that. It has also taught us the love we have for you all. It has taught us to SAY, aloud, what we are thankful for on a daily basis (and on most days, writing it down as a reminder and memorial stone).

Since my last post, we are learning a lot about how to best serve Oliver and his sensory needs. Sensory bins (scoop and dump, scoop and dump, as OSH says), is one of the best "calm down" activities we have discovered. He is learning to self-regulate with the ear muffs and most of the time not even wearing them. I think he finds security in knowing they are there if he needs them. We have purchase "teething" necklaces for car rides and while at the grocery store (this past month at the grocery store checkout he has chewed through a bag of beans, carrots and the silicone lining of a whisk!). Any recommendations for the "best" teething necklaces?! Please let me know. Oliver is thriving with his PT (now a weekly occurrence) and at his surgical follow-up the doctor IS NOT recommending orthotics (which was a surprise to us)! We are on the wait list of OT but are not as concerned about that (yet) since his PT has helped him improve so much. The tape on his glasses (when he wears them) is improving his eyes turning inward.

Now that OSH is 2.5 years, we had his neonatal followup as well. He scored "normal" on every thing. Fine and gross motor, he scored pretty low (but still in the normal range). Not a surprise to us, he scored normal-high for comprehension and verbal. (He literally talks ALL THE TIME...to the point I almost can't drive with him in the back because he jabbers on so much). :)  A blessing, right?

Overall, we are living life! My thoughts and heart have settled since a few weeks ago and we are learning practical tools on how to help him thrive in his daily life. If you would like to pray for him specifically, here is how:

• Healing (he is currently sick & I always worry about his lung -- or lack thereof)
• Gentleness (he has taken to pushing and shoving his older sibling [and even us] out of an aggressive heart)
• Volume (he often screams/shouts/speaks at a yelling tone. As you can imagine, it is difficult to parent, or drive, when this happens and always can get us all riled up)

• Wearing his glasses (recently, he has decided that he just does not want to wear them and as a result, his eyes are turning in)

Bless you all for joining us in celebration & prayer! I hope you have a wonderful week in HIM.

Maranatha 

Growing a boy: Knowing the difference

Learning new things is good, right. (I say this as I laugh). It has been a long time since I have had to study something and then be "tested" on it. This is how I feel as I learn about parenting Oliver in a new way.

My alarm went off this morning as these thoughts challenged me regarding having a child with sensory sensitivity....

What is the difference between:

• discipline vs. redirection (do you disciple? how...without evoking triggers & without going to the extreme of not disciplining)
• "terrible twos" vs. a child with sensory challenges
• tantrums vs. meltdowns

Other questions:

• How do you parent three young kids (16 and 15 months apart in age) with one of the three requiring "different" parenting. How do you handle the appearance of "special treatment" or special privilege among the three kids? 
• With regard to boundaries and expectations: what is Oliver really capable of? We have a raised bar of exception for our children. Do we need to adjust them without labeling or holding back our son? 
• How do we talk about Oliver's challenges without labeling or restricting what he can do? What words do we use to describe Oliver (or do we need to describe him at all? ..surrendering the need to justify the way God made him).
•  What tools can we use to prevent "craziness" at pick-ups or after church service or while checking out books at the library or buying groceries in the store?
• What tools are there for me to emotionally cope as our son has a tantrum/meltdown and is running away from me screaming and not listening?

These are questions that we are seeking answers for. We know there is no manual or easy answer, but, if this is our new reality, how can we succeed, doing the best for Oliver, for our other two kids, for our marriage, parenting and community? So I end this blog with these questions, desiring to honor God in all we do as we embrace this sweet child that God created and made live.

Growing a boy: Today was an "opportunity"

....yes, an opportunity. I am striving to refrain from calling it a setback or hindrance or a difficulty. I am in the process of re-framing my mind to seek joy and gratitude above all else.

The opportunities today were:

• Trust God
• Be vulnerable (crying in about three or four different conversations...I mean the  not pretty, ugly cry)
• Remind myself of my true identity in Christ
• To believe in my kid(s)...NO MATTER WHAT their actions may display
• PRAY (like crazy)
• Seek support

I am sure there were many more opportunities in my day as I cared for Oliver and the other two. It was an "opportunity" type of day. Not many days lead me to tears but today, I finally broke. At school drop off when a staff member asked how I was....I just started to cry. When I picked up our oldest and Oliver was "being Oliver" I just about lost my mind...no really. I fought back tears the whole way home (about a 25 min drive!). It was a tough day. The emotional build up from Monday and this icky sickness that is clouding my mind, making it foggy, just put me over the edge.  I know there will be hard days. I know there will be huge successes. And above all, I know that God is in them all. He has put me here to bring Him glory. He has made me Oliver's mom to refine me and draw me closer to Him. He has allowed these circumstances so that I can encourage others who share similar stories. This is all good...but today, I faced many opportunities. :)

OSH was so cute today. I gave him a purple rice "heat" pack, thing (weighted). He carried it around all morning calling it his "dinosaur." It was pretty adorable. Someone had sent the rice pack to Oliver's NICU room in Seattle as a gift for me, to help with the healing of my c-section. It is amazing that Oliver is now in possession of this precious and useful gift. A perfect picture of God's foresight. He wore is glasses all morning (with the tape on the inside of each lens) without taking them off! Huge success! He did pretty good at walking up and down the stairs today alternating feet (working in his bilateral coordination and strength). Reflecting on these things, it was a good day.

Why is it that it is so easy to focus so much on the bad or the hard? Dwelling on what could have or should have been? Or on the things that we simply just cannot handle?! But God is so good as He shows us His tender love as we process through these big and small events, reminding us that our identity is not in our circumstances. It is not in what has happened to me (or those around us). We should solely fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. In that, our circumstances look different. In light of spending eternity with God, these "opportunity-type days" are just that....an opportunity to put into practice all that God is calling us (me) to be, all He is and has taught us....We are His beloved. Loved by our Creator despite what is/has happened. It is an opportunity to extend to ourselves the Grace the Jesus extends to us....to accept it, believe it.

So yes, today was an "opportunity-type-day," but in today, I saw/felt so much love extended to me as I poured out my heart to others, sought prayer and was reminded of my real idenity in Christ. What a blessing to have a compassionate community who loves Jesus and each other.

Praise be to God!

Growing a boy: Embracing & Processing my "sensory kid"

Oliver had a PT and an eye appointment today. He walked around most of the day with his ear muffs on and the eye doctor put tape on the lens of his glasses to help his eyes from turning in (a vision therapy tactic). I have not even asked Tyler how the PT appointment went this morning (maybe out of fear or simply being more overwhelmed than I already am).

I take pause. Sit with my Bible and allow God to wash over me. He reminded me of all the precious words He spoke to me on Oliver's birthday and within the first month of Oliver's life.

• "I giveth and I taketh away. You have to be okay with that."
• Only I (God) am control of life or death.
• Why not you? Why should you be exempt from suffering in this world?

These phrases sit close to my heart today. They take me back to the minutes, hours and days after Oliver's birth. They remind me of God's faithfulness, His peace, during those times. He KNOWS Oliver! He was good enough to show us, just a mere two days ago, another aspect of this amazing human HE has made...He made Oliver JUST for OUR family. This means that God also made me to be Oliver's mom. What an honor and privilege.

My mind wants to take over and dive deep into learning about sensory processing, sensory toys and other tools/techniques. (Not bad things). But today I am reminded that God....GOD....God is enough. Nothing more or nothing less. It is an example (I think) of what is recorded in the book of Matthew, "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (5:4). I need the Lord's comfort today as I process this news of Oliver being a "sensory kid" or "on the scale". (why are these labels so icky to me? What do/can I say instead?!). The "new and shiny" excitement of learning this news has quickly worn off. In some ways I feel devastated yet in others I still hold onto hope (JESUS) for this sweet miracle toddler who was given less than 1% chance of survival at birth. You can't see it, but tears well my eyes as I type. I need the Lord's comfort.

I am forever grateful for April 2, April 5, April 13, April 30. These dates are HUGE milestones in OSH's life (birth, surgery, breathing tube removal and his first homecoming). In May, I wrote a blog "Growing a boy: I'm not celebrating" which ended the first chapter of my processing of Oliver's birth and the first two years of his life. We are now moving into Chapter 2 (or maybe it should be section two). Anyhow, I am SO thankful to have processed much of the first two years of Oliver's life, then had a moment's pause-- a wonderful and pleasurable summer of very few therapy appointments and savoring our new backyard. Now, it seems, we are jumping back into another season of challenge that pushes me/us to rest and trust in the Lord. I pray I can keep this in perspective, process quickly (yet appropriately) and not hinder our other two, older children. I pray I will not become obsessed with this discovery of Oliver's sensory challenges or talk about it/focus on it too much. I pray that I can give GLORY where GLORY is due--that I can share God's faithfulness in the midst of this struggle. I pray that God will remain the forefront of my mind and heart---with every up and coming decision we have to make. I am thankful once again for an incredible medical team who listens to us, takes our obervations seriously and does not judge. I continue to thank the Lord above for each of you who join us in the journey as you pray for us and reach out to us. (With tears **again** in my eyes, I type--- GOD IS SO GOOD! Despite anything and everything my salvation and hope rest in Him! I pray the same for you in your life's struggle. Trust that God is FOR you and if God is for you....who can be against you (Romans 8:31).

Maranath.

Growing a boy: Exploring Sensory

Hello All- As you can imagine, my mind is flooded since yesterday's discovery as I slowly put pieces together regarding Oliver's (possible) sensory stuff.

I have a MILLION questions: "are sensory bins really needed? Why do they help? How do they help? Should OSH wear his ear muffs all of the time? Am I enabling him or creating a dependency for them instead of allowing him to learn how to "cope" with the world around him? (And the list goes on!) I am learning that there is no "user manual" or step-by-step instructions but rather 1) seeking the Lord 2) trusting His wisdom 3) studying/observing Oliver in a new way and finally, 4) trial and error. Even though I am overwhelmed today at what all of this could (and DOES) mean, God provides...and here is how:

My beloved dropped the two older kids off at school so it was just Oliver and I, palling around before my Bible study started. I had to make a quick stop at the grocery store before the meeting. Since the store just opened, and only one other car was in the parking lot, I decided not to give Oliver his ear muffs. In the store, our normal discourse occurred (on repeat, I might add), "where are we going? What's that sound? Did you see it?" (Three common questions OSH asks at least 85-hundred-million times a day (in the words of our second child). I rambled off what I saw and heard and then directed his questions back to him like I normally do. It was a fairly uneventful trip. However, at the check-out line, the woman ahead of me, who also had a young child, started to engage with Oliver. She asked him his name and how old he was. Through the conversation, it came out that she was a special education teacher who teaches "sensory kids." WHAT!?! What providence it that!?! I reached out for her and told her that I needed her input on this recent discovery. We then chatted in the parking lot (while Oliver wiggled and squirmed in my arms). She "KNEW" my son! This (sensory whatever-he-has-thing) is REAL! She said, I bet he loved being outside more than inside. YES! She gave some examples of tools she has used with kids. She affirmed the use of ear muffs whenever he might be in a situation that is loud, busy or chaotic. It was like she gave me permission to not justify Oliver or why he is wearing ear muffs or why he doesn't act like a "normal" 2.5 year old. I felt excited. This is a real life thing. In addition, we have a PT appointment scheduled for tomorrow! I am hoping we can continue to learn more about Oliver.

I still have NO clue on what all of "this" means or how to help Oliver, but it feels so great knowing that I AM a good parent! That Oliver is just not "acting out." He has a real problem and now I can help him navigate towards a solution (or solutions). For me, really, this is life changing! I no longer have to feel embarrassed about his outbursts or his intense personality. I don't have to make excuses for him or explain his whole birth story to prove the point that "he has just gone through a lot." Yes, Oliver HAS gone through a lot but I am so thankful that he is alive. He displays God's character is so many ways. It is my privilege to teach him how to emphasize those amazing attributes. I am blessed ... SO BLESSED... by all of your loving feedback, prayers, ideas, podcasts, and acknowledgement. This new discovery has taken a huge mental toll but I know that we are not alone in this! Keep your advice and resources coming! And please pray for us! I fight the thoughts that I am just "making this up" or "making a bigger deal out of this then I need to." 

I am so, so grateful for every one!

Getting healthy: Stop Comparing

I did it!! I stepped onto the scale. To be honest, I was a little nervous at first, not knowing what to expect but I figured that I need a baseline, right?! (And we allllll know that the scales at the doctor's office always add least 7-10 pounds, right? So my weight from last week's visit didn't "really" count).

I am not as far off as I thought I was but the hard facts, the number...well, they never lie.

Three days strong now...on my path to becoming healthy. I had many food successes yesterday and had a lot of inner-battles surrounding the snack drawer but overall, I am very pleased. I also had only two cups of coffee, one of which was DECAF! Yes, you read that right...can you believe it? Movement successes abounded yesterday & today too...I chased my kids, danced more when I played music. jogged on the treadmill this morning and found my fitbit (which is still not charged...on my list to do today). Spiritually: still trying to figure this one out. Maybe I should start by finding 10-15 minutes per day to just pray, maybe read? This goal seems doable.


HONEST CONFESSION:

I want to preface that this blog is (hopefully) not (seen as) a platform of my complaints, but rather encouragement for you and me for the sake of growth & for my personal accountablity (which, by the way is working!).

The start of this journey (months back) was rough. I saw other moms with two, three kids or more, looking fabulous. I was jealous. I did not have the time (what I am finding now it was really lack of motivation), to get my "smokin'-hot-momma body" back--(which by the way, at no point in my life have I actually, truthfully saw myself this way). I was comparing.

This journey is not about comparison.

It is rejoicing in the successes of others (and for myself, rejoicing in the small victories like drinking water with every meal yesterday) and realizing that we ALL have some type or insecurity/struggle--be it our physical health, our marriages, finances, balancing our work, traumatic birth experiences, loss of loved ones, complicated child/adulthoods or the pesky hair that grows on our chins (did I really just type that!?!). There is always something we want to strive towards changing yet we often forget to CELEBRATE the good stuff that is happening. So let us stop comparing. Lets start celebrating! (OH---sounds like a great party theme!).

Months back, I found find myself thinking that I was not good enough, strong enough or that somehow others have it figured out way better than I did (motherhood, working out, meal prep, ect.). But these thoughts are all false. I caution you: do not fall into this spirit of comparison...it will only hurt you deeply and take your eyes off all of the glorious things you are, you have and you do.

When I take a step back from my, "I am so alone, no one likes me and understands what I have gone through" mindset, I realize that who ever is reading this right now is dealing with something---maybe to the same degree, maybe more, maybe less, maybe something entirely different...regardless, we are all doing the best that we can do.

It is NOT about comparison. It is about encouragement!

A few weeks ago a friend suggested that we join a gym together. The first thought was, "Oh, no, she will now really see just how out of shape I am." This mindset has been with me since junior high or maybe even before: never show weakness, push through, fake it until you make it. I am glad I realized this about myself. It is okay to be weak (I said it!) in some areas...this is an opportunity to grow, improve and ENJOY the process. And enjoying it I have (at least on day three). :)

I hope this blog empowers you to enjoy where you are and moves you towards where you want to be. Until the next post!

Getting Healthy: It's 5 am

My motherhood duties beckon me this morning at 5am. Not much sleep for the weary here. I comfort my youngest with a cozy blanket, a sippy cup of water in his crib and two rounds of "Twinkle Twinkle." Hoping to get at least another hour of sleep, I sneak back into bed with a heavy, sleeping husband who arrived home just two hours prior. Not being able to sleep next to his "deep sleep," I decide to take the treadmill for a whirl. Thanks for encouragement from Ray-Mau ;) I FINALLY listened to a saved podcast from three weeks ago!!!

My twenty-minute treadmill "speed" walk ended with my 4.5 year old startling me as she walked into my workout. It's now 5:40am and all three of my children are up....what is wrong with this!?! They used to sleep until 7am!! Seriously, can someone tell me if this is normal...I mean really...is it? Momma thought 5am would be a "safe" time to have some alone time. I am letting my 2 year old babble in his crib; I hear my 3 year old moving around in his bedroom but I DARE NOT check on him or game over; I sent my 4.5 year old back to her room for at least another 20-25 minute.

What I am doing is important. It is not only important for me but for my children as well. They need me to be healthy as much as I need me to be healthy. I am learning to be okay with this. I need to advocate for myself within my family so that I can be healthy.

FOCUS-- okay. So as I was walking I also realized that my "getting healthy" is trifold:

1. Spiritual Health
2. Emotional Health
3. Physical Health

For me, these areas are very much interconnected. Since the fall of 2018 I have been lacking in my spiritual health, unable to find a Bible Study or connection group that my little-ducklings can also be well taken care of while I am fed. I have not gotten into a routine at home that is sustainable yet I do teach my children daily about Jesus...for the next month we are focusing on the Fruit of the Spirit through song, craft and service. I guess in a way I am being feed through these activities. It just looks different from what I want it to me. (I am looking for suggestions, though....always! of a solid connection group I can join).

I am thankful I am once again emotionally healthy-ish after the last two years of dealing my "trauma-birth-brain."

And my physical health, point number three, which will be the main focus of this blog series with touches of the other two areas. I am so excited that I now have the mental space to be able to take care of myself and recognize my three "needs" areas.

BRASS TACKS:
Successes so far (okay, it has only been about 24-ish hours since making this declaration of getting healthy, but small successes compile to achieve the WHOLE goal!):

• I did two short workout videos yesterday (& my arms are now sore--VICTORY) and I did a treadmill walk this morning...maybe I can sneak a "goodnight" walk into my schedule 10 minutes before I go to bed!
• I ate soooo many veggies yesterday! I still have a VERY painful tooth so the thought of crunching veggies or consuming cold, juicy baby tomatoes is terrifying. BUT I did it....cucumber "sticks" YUM, sliced baby tomatoes in hummus, carrot chips---much easier to crunch.
• I drank water! After afternoon "rest time" (ha!), during dinner and during the Grey's Anatomy season finale. I love my water bottle. That makes drinking fun.

Facing today (well the rest of it):

• Limiting carbs (like unneeded crackers while my kids are snacking)
• Limiting extra dairy (sneaks of cheese slices)
• MORE veggies and MORE water

Okay, it is now 6:15am. I can no longer hold back the forces. Time to wakey-wake.

I hope you feel encouraged today too!


 

Getting Healthy: Just getting started

I just closed a two-year chapter/blog series titled "Growing a boy" on the challenges of dealing with a son born prematurely who was close to dead at birth. As I have finally closed that emotional chapter, finding healing in more ways than one. Now, I am ready to move on. I am starting a new chapter...a new chapter with passion, a little motivation and just a little more determination to come against my excuses. I want to be physically healthy again.

Here are the challenges:

• A husband with an irregular work schedule making it difficult to find time away from the kids to exercise. 
• I work full-time (yes it is online but it still requires a lot of my time/attention amidst kids activities and husbands schedule). Like working out, I feel like I have to squeeze my job into our already crazy/tight schedule. 
• Three children ages 4, 3, 2 who are relentless and need constant supervision. Working out with them is next to impossible without tripping over them and hurting myself (or them).
• Sleep deprivation: Even though my kids are a little "older" I am exhausted at the end of the day (to the point of being an almost angry mother at bedtime --Dear Lord, PLEASE HELP ME!). At least one of the three kids awakes during the night; the husband comes home between 1-3a (usually waking me up) and then our brood is up at 6am. I have been trying to get to bed by 9:30pm on most nights...it seems to be helping. Naps were an option but now 2 out of the three are on a nap protest (& quiet time turns into a fight...why do I EVEN TRY to have some alone time in the afternoon...okay, sometimes I just let them fuss in their room & tell them that momma needs a time out).
• Food: Let's be honest, I eat what my kids eat and snack on what they snack on. Husband is not home most nights so I end up snacking for dinner after the kids are asleep. True confession: the other night I have popcorn and ice cream for dinner. Winner winner! ;)
• Another food challenge: I don't like to cook (& don't really know how to get out of my norm and/or make food everyone in my family will eat or enjoy. I really don't want to waste my efforts...but maybe I should?).

Excuses (see above and below!):

• For the first year of our youngest son's life, I was overwhelmed, burdened and stressed (to say the least) due to his eventful (for the lack of a better word) entrance into this world. Two years ago April, I was in survival mode.
• After this first year, I told myself it was time to reclaim my health...in August 2018 actually. In doing so, I took a smoke-stack tower fall, straight over onto my left hip on our tiled kitchen floor while "trying to fit" exercise in while my youngest was contained in the highchair. After a round of physical therapy in December-February, I finally felt relief in my lower back. 
• But then, the excuse of "we just moved" crept in in November and I have stayed there until recent.

Motivations:

• I want to get healthy so that I can hike with my husband, run & play sports with my kids and enjoy the calm kayaking waters without pulling a muscle.
• I am TIRED of carrying this two-year postpartum baby weight (and wearing maternity shorts, baggy shirts and stretch pants because 1) I have them and 2) because nothing else really fits well (or comfortably).
• Exercise and wellness are legacies I want to leave for my children. I want them to see their mother working out and eating well...not for the sake of appearance but for the sake of taking care of the temple (my body) given to me by the Lord. It is my responsibility to take care of my body.
• AND....My doctor said so. Okay...I may have probed her just a little at my recent annual check-up (which has actually been TWO years) to hear her say that I need to lose weight but I guess it helped since I am writing this new blog series. Very kindly my doctor say that I am overweight....but closer to normal-overweight than obese-overweight (phew!). But the real kicker---she told me is is much harder to lose weight the older you get. Wow! I just turned 37 (seems old to me!) so I may as well shed some weight and enter into the "normal-normal" range. 

What's going for me:

• YOU! My reading audience in whom I'm hoping will encourage me in this process with easy favorite, healthy family recipes, encouragement to workout, etc.
•  Spring/Summer: In the recent sunny days, I have enjoyed pushing our youngest in the stroller while the "big kids" rode their bikes. Bonus: everyone enjoyed it especially with a destination like a play park at the end.
• My husband works night. (Yes, this is both a challenge and a "what's going for me"). I have the time after the kids go to bed to workout...now...I just need to get over my almost-anger-super-exhausted-mom persona and (as Nike says) JUST DO IT!
• I have Amazon and the internet.  I lost my 21-Day-Fix Workout videos in the move (anyone have them I could borrow?!?!) but I did find a pretty good workout program on Amazon. With the help of the internet, I have access to PLENTY of healthy food programs. I am thinking about trying the 21-Day-Fix eating plan again. I did this after my first child and lost a decent amount of weight and felt great. It was very adaptable to my food allergies too.

Plan of attack:

• I don't have one...okay, I have one kinda in my head and here it is:
• Blogging my journey for accountability (wanna join me?).
• Food prep...should I start tonight (but it is the season finale of Grey's Anatomy!).
• Exercise: Make it a goal to be active every day with two or three intention workouts per week. This I can do...I can push my kids to be a little more active: kicking a ball with them, running around the "track" in our house and going on walks.
• Simple, right? Well let's see where this one goes..... to be continued.