Growing a boy: Knowing the difference

Learning new things is good, right. (I say this as I laugh). It has been a long time since I have had to study something and then be "tested" on it. This is how I feel as I learn about parenting Oliver in a new way.

My alarm went off this morning as these thoughts challenged me regarding having a child with sensory sensitivity....

What is the difference between:

• discipline vs. redirection (do you disciple? how...without evoking triggers & without going to the extreme of not disciplining)
• "terrible twos" vs. a child with sensory challenges
• tantrums vs. meltdowns

Other questions:

• How do you parent three young kids (16 and 15 months apart in age) with one of the three requiring "different" parenting. How do you handle the appearance of "special treatment" or special privilege among the three kids? 
• With regard to boundaries and expectations: what is Oliver really capable of? We have a raised bar of exception for our children. Do we need to adjust them without labeling or holding back our son? 
• How do we talk about Oliver's challenges without labeling or restricting what he can do? What words do we use to describe Oliver (or do we need to describe him at all? ..surrendering the need to justify the way God made him).
•  What tools can we use to prevent "craziness" at pick-ups or after church service or while checking out books at the library or buying groceries in the store?
• What tools are there for me to emotionally cope as our son has a tantrum/meltdown and is running away from me screaming and not listening?

These are questions that we are seeking answers for. We know there is no manual or easy answer, but, if this is our new reality, how can we succeed, doing the best for Oliver, for our other two kids, for our marriage, parenting and community? So I end this blog with these questions, desiring to honor God in all we do as we embrace this sweet child that God created and made live.