Growing a boy: sensory disorder?

 Oliver has never done anything without grand expression...his gestation, birth and following have proved that. Recently, our nearly two and a half year old has been leading us to question ourselves as parents as we pull every tool we used on the other two kids (and then some) out of our parenting toolbox. Daily I feel like a failure because I cannot redirect or calm our very vocal and "wild" child. And trust me, it is not for a lack of trying!

The beginning of the summer our family focused on learning the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5). The Lord must have led me to this because in this trying season I frequently play the fruit of the spirit song in my head, begging God to refine me with patience and kindness towards Oliver.

Recently, I have been so embarrassed by his random tantrums, outbursts and mood swings. They occur out of nowhere....at his big sister's kindergarten pick-up line or the grocery store or even just loading up in the car to go somewhere. Everything seems to be a "big deal" and most of the time it feels like a battle. I weigh my options..."is it really 'worth' it to take him out in public to pick up the milk or can we until daddy comes home so I can run out quickly." I hate to say it (but in all honesty) I need LOTS of breaks from Oliver. I use nearly all my patience and emotional reserves on parenting him (and since dealing with my extremely low iron and IV iron infusions in August, this has become even less in my reserve tank!). Upon going out, I have to prepare myself for the possible glares and stares (and even "helpful" parenting advice) that I know will occur WHEN Oliver has such a fit.

Well, today I **THINK** I learned something new about Oliver which may lead us down a different parenting track (and possibility even more PT/OT appointments we already have....ugh!). But I am excited! Read on...

A year ago November, we moved into our home. We finally made time to tackle unpacking, organizing and cleaning the garage. In doing so, my handsome groom found the child-sized noise canceling ear muffs. The three kids clamored at the new "toy" and took turns using them as they played in the driveway. As I looked up from the stove out into the driveway (Tyler was out there with the kids), Oliver was so happy wearing those ear muffs. Not once did I see him throw a big tantrum (well, until we tried to put them away for dinner). For the last few weeks, at random, my groom would allow Oliver to wear these treasured ear muffs as they "worked" side-by-side.

Today, I had an idea. I wanted to experiment. The library was on the agenda today so I decided to allow Oliver to wear them....in the car, in the library, to the bike shop and into the grocery store. WOW! What a HUGE difference!

Upon entering the library, the librarian noticed his ear muffs (and a BIG muss about the happen) and immediately handed me a sensory box full of sensory toys (something I am vaguely familiar with). A weighted snake, textured balls, and a calming water-oil-upside-down-turny-thing captured his attention at once and he calmed down. I was amazed. Literally in an instant of placing the weighted snake on his chest/tummy, he calmed down. A part of me was a little sad at another looming label...."I have a sensory kid" but the greater part of me was overjoyed to see him relax and settle back into the stroller, looking so at ease and comfortable. He visited the bike shop and grocery store with little incidence and we even had a quick visit with a local police officer. I feel like he "lasted" a lot longer on this trip than previous trips we have taken. In all honestly, I was not expected as good of a day as we had (shame on me!).

So, I would say that today was a huge success. I had to work through the awkward stares that I received when others noticed Oliver wearing ear muffs (and all of the labels that go with that) but I felt like a proud mom today...loving my kid, putting his needs first above others' opinions, taking care of him, listening to my instincts and discovering something new about him. I am now reading up on sensory processing disorder and the possible link to his premature birth. In doing so, I also remembered the weighted bean-bag they placed on his legs while in the NICU and how, at two weeks old, that calmed him down. A whole new world has opened up for me today. If any of you have helpful resources or ideas or tricks we can try please pass them along! I want to feel confident in my parenting approach. My desire is to not need breaks from him but to better understand who God has created him to be and to play into that!

Thanks all for reading and joining us in this journey of raising our sweet, precious Ollie.