Tuesday, February 3, 2015

DEFINITION :: "The facade"


DEFINITION :: "The facade" :: The things I say instead of saying what is REALLY going on:

  • Oh, yeah, I'm doing great.
  • You know, things are busy.
  • It just life with a baby... 
  • We are just figuring it out one day at a time.
  • Everyday is an adjustment.
  • Just learning to balance everything.
  • I think I have it under control.

But what I'm really saying is;
  • I'm so tired I can't even sleep!! Ugh!
  • I really don't know how to ask for help. (Even if I did, what would I ask help for?!)
  • Life is so chaotic that some days I just want to hide under my apron (if I wore one) & pretend I am invisible.
  • I really have NO IDEA what I am doing.
  • Everyday we are trying something new to make life work & nothing seems to help.
  • There is no such thing as balance in my life right now! Some things just have to give.

But I am reassured that I am not the only new mom facing (or who has faced) moments, days and seasons such as this. I am blessed. I need to learn to be more transparent, be vulnerable, ask of help, accept help that is offered.

To be honest, most days I am not even sure how I feel. I chalk that up mostly to sleep deprivation. But one things is truer and than true...Jesus loves me and has called me into this season.

I am beyond blessed...
  • by my husband who helps out so much and just knows when I need a surprise dozen roses or when to book a much needed massage (I can't wait until Saturday!! WOOHOO!!)
  • by the smile on my daughter's face and her giggle when we cuddle in the morning.
  • by my friends who offer to pray for me and who watch my daughter spur of the moment (shout-out to Courtney!! THANK YOU!!).
  • by the comfort and hope given me through Jesus.
So at the end of each day, I pray that I can have victory over the every so "easy" facade and be real, recognizing how blessed I really am because I know one day I will look back on these days fondly and wish I could have just one more snuggle with my little monkey girl or just one more glimpse of her morning smile.

I need to tell myself: It is all worth it!


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