In the light of Eternity...

We are all dealing with challenging things in this life. It is easy to complain, compare to others, or just want to give up.

We ask ourselves:

• Why put in the effort? 
• Why figure out a way to make it work? 
• Is it really worth it?
• Will this ever end?

I have been faced with these questions and emotions times ten over the past few months.

Whether you are dealing with weight issues, work stress, raising children or any other number of problems, we have a decision to make regarding our attitude towards them.

Today I was confronted with the truth, "Does this situation matter in light of eternity?"

This powerful question helped re-direct my thoughts and view my situations with a different perspective.

Here is what is most important:

• Is my relationship with Christ growing? Am I allowing Him to work through the situations I am facing?
• Is my first thought to turn to prayer?
• Am I submitting my marriage to God and allowing God to transform us for His glory?
• Are my actions teaching my daughter about Jesus or distracting her from knowing the Savior?
• Do I trust that God, as Baby's Heavenly Father, cares for her WAY beyond what I can or ever will?
• Is my focus to share Jesus' life, saving power with my family & friends instead of complaining?
• Am I will to allow God to transform me? Disciple me? Through ALL challenges?
• Am I relying on God more than myself?

Follow God, submitting myself to Him, seeing Him in all things, and sharing His power to save...in the light of eternity these things are the things that matter. These things make fighting through my struggles worth it! So, ask yourself, in the light of eternity, does this really matter? 

I Own Nothing...

I own nothing. Nothing is really mine.

WOW! What a sobering thought. All my possessions, special mementos, collections of pictures and so on are really not mine...scarier yet, my daughter really isn't mine either!!

Everything I have is a gift given by God. He is the only One who gives and takes away.

My responsibility, then, is to care for and be generous with all I have, giving Him the glory for it all. Somehow in this world, I begin to think that I can control and obtain things that will give my life more meaning. Why? For power? Comfort? Satisfaction? Recognition? What ever the reasoning, I feel if I have more stuff or can control/hold onto what I have that my life will somehow be better.

FALSE!

It is easy to forget that the Lord should be at the center of it all (not my possessions or earthly relationships).

I need to daily hand over my life to Him and be thankful for what He has given me today (because we are not guaranteed anything for tomorrow!!). I need to better care for the things He was blessed me with. Daily, I need to remember that Jesus is the center of my life not my daughter, marriage, work, friends, etc. I need to give what I have without hesitation and listen to the leading of the Spirit as He commands me to share what I have.

In this there is TRUE satisfaction, joy, and peace. (All three of which I desperately need in my life right now!).

Sharing...such a simple concept (and a concept I deeply desire to instill in my daughter) yet it is often difficult to execute...to let go of the things I have, to lend without expectation of return, to remember that God has and will bless me as I am in His will.

So for now, I remain thankful to have a Heavenly Father who walks with me. I remain thankful for the One who reveals truth, speaks wisdom and washes me with peace.

I am grateful for the life I have in Him & will continue to practice generosity, all the while reminding myself to enjoy what I have today in Him...because in all reality I own nothing and nothing is really mine. It all belongs to Him!

DEFINITION :: "The facade"

DEFINITION :: "The facade" :: The things I say instead of saying what is REALLY going on:

• Oh, yeah, I'm doing great.
• You know, things are busy.
• It just life with a baby... 
• We are just figuring it out one day at a time.
• Everyday is an adjustment.
• Just learning to balance everything.
• I think I have it under control.

But what I'm really saying is;

• I'm so tired I can't even sleep!! Ugh!
• I really don't know how to ask for help. (Even if I did, what would I ask help for?!)
• Life is so chaotic that some days I just want to hide under my apron (if I wore one) & pretend I am invisible.
• I really have NO IDEA what I am doing.
• Everyday we are trying something new to make life work & nothing seems to help.
• There is no such thing as balance in my life right now! Some things just have to give.

But I am reassured that I am not the only new mom facing (or who has faced) moments, days and seasons such as this. I am blessed. I need to learn to be more transparent, be vulnerable, ask of help, accept help that is offered.

To be honest, most days I am not even sure how I feel. I chalk that up mostly to sleep deprivation. But one things is truer and than true...Jesus loves me and has called me into this season.

I am beyond blessed...

• by my husband who helps out so much and just knows when I need a surprise dozen roses or when to book a much needed massage (I can't wait until Saturday!! WOOHOO!!)
• by the smile on my daughter's face and her giggle when we cuddle in the morning.
• by my friends who offer to pray for me and who watch my daughter spur of the moment (shout-out to Courtney!! THANK YOU!!).
• by the comfort and hope given me through Jesus.

So at the end of each day, I pray that I can have victory over the every so "easy" facade and be real, recognizing how blessed I really am because I know one day I will look back on these days fondly and wish I could have just one more snuggle with my little monkey girl or just one more glimpse of her morning smile.

I need to tell myself: It is all worth it!

The Song of My Heart Today...

The One I'm Running To

By: 7enenth Time Down from the album Just Say Jesus 

Midnight
He is staring at the bills and rubbing
Red eyes
Ain't adding up to nothing
But some hard times
He's feeling like a failure at life

Head down
Part of him is tempted just to
Skip town
But deep inside he knows enough to
Cry out
God I'm tired of fighting this fight

I'm running low on faith
But I won't run away

Tonight I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope who satisfies, my heart
You are the One I'm running to
Everything that's good and right and true
Jesus, I'm coming after who
You are, You are
The One I'm running to

Late shift
She's working hard providing
For her three kids
She hasn't seen her husband cause
Their stretched thin
Nobody told her it would be this hard
There's no end in sight, but she says
No compromise

Tonight I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope who satisfies, my heart
You are the One I'm running to
Everything that's good and right and true
Jesus, I'm coming after who
You are, You are
The One I'm running to

So much I don't understand
In the middle of this circumstance
But I know my life is in Your hands

Tonight I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope that satisfies, my heart
You are, You are

Everything that's good and right and true
Jesus, I'm coming after who
You are, you are
The One I'm running to




Publishing: © 2013 Love Journey Music (SESAC), Aevinesaintmusic (SESAC), Moms Like Us Too (SESAC), Wordspring Music, LLC (SESAC), Early Service Music (SESAC), Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing (ASCAP), Songs From Exit 71 (ASCAP)
Writer(s): Mikey Howard, Cliff Williams, Ian Eskelin, Tony Wood

(Re)Defining My Identity

"I am more than what you see at this present moment."

It is easy for me to only see myself as "mom." I mean, let's face it, I truly do spend most of my day caring for the sweetest (sometimes crankiest)  little human especially with my husband working a gazillion 24-hour shifts in the last few weeks. It is easy to forget that I am more than "just mom."

I need to redefine my identity.

Oh, how easily I have forgotten that I am also a wife, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, housekeeper, accountant, banker, college instructor...you get the picture. I need to learn not to let any one role define who I am. One word I need to re-learn: BALANCE.

Early on in life I promised myself that I would never be one of "those" woman who puts baby over husband. Wow! Please forgive my judgment!! It is so easy to do and without notice or expectation, I have done this...and for good reason (...as I try to justify in my mind). Baby is only 6-months old!! She needs a lot of attention. But what am I willing to sacrifice to give her that attention? Certainly not my marriage or friendships.

I need to redefine my identity.

I need to remember that I am also a woman. It is okay for me to find a babysitter, put on earrings, wear a top that doesn't have to be breastfeeding friendly (and doesn't smell like spit up!!). And heel!! Perfume! The more obvious...a shower! Oh! That would be nice!

Yet something is still missing. I need to redefine my identity.

I can balance each aspect of my life and still not fully, wholly understand my identity. After all is said and done, my truest identity should only come from Christ and in Christ alone... here is a list to prove it taken from: http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=knowing_who_i_am_in_christ

Once I fully accept who Christ has called me to be (or at least make progress towards it daily), HE will be the One to help me balance the many identities He has blessed me with. I just have to remind myself that this life is not a race...I don't need to adapt and change all in one day (although I wish I would!). God is faithful to complete the good work that He has started in me. I must simply let Him redefine my identity.

WHO I AM IN CHRIST-- MY TRUEST IDENTITY
 
I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).
I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).
I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).
I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).
I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5).
I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).
I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18).
I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues.  I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17-18; Luke 10:17-19).
I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9-10).
I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).
I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).
I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).
I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).
I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).
I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).
I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11;1 Thessalonians 5:23).
I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).
I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).
I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).
I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).
I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).
I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).
I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).
I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).

Holding the next generation...

Sure, having kids is a big decision & let's face it... even a bigger responsibility when they arrive on this crazy ground called planet earth.

Hours of discussion and even more hours of planning consume life until the arrival of the sweetest bundle of joy.

Honestly, no matter how many discussions or how much planning takes place, a part of you never fully understands the gravity & honor & privilege of being a parent until the moment you snuggle your little one.

I had one of these moments early this morning at 5AM.

At the hunger cry of my almost 6-month old, I swooped her out of her crib and brought her to the rocking chair. After nursing her, I had this incredible urge just to hold her tight. I treasured this moment...her sleepy body pressed against mine, the quiet softness of her breath, and the smell of her sweet skin. I sat there rocking her in the early morning in awe.

"I am holding the next generation."

In that pure moment of conviction and joy, Father God again reminded me of the importance of my job (and lifestyle) as a mother. WOW! I am holding and am responsible for the next generation.

At this revelation, I decided to do a search of scripture to confirm this early morning Truth. Here is what I found (in no particular order & by NO means is this a comprehensive list):

• Psalm 145:4 Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power

• Deuteronomy 11:19 You shall teach them [Lord's commandments] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

• Psalms 112:1-2 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.

• Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

• Psalm 145:13 For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule throughout all generations. The LORD always keeps his promises; he is gracious in all he does.

• Deuteronomy 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 

•  Titus 2: 3-5 Oder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. 

Psalms 72:5

Verse Concepts

Let them fear You while the sun endures, And as long as the moon, throughout all generations.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Generations#sthash.81zqOsuI.dpuf

This was just the encouragement I needed after two very long nights and a day like yesterday filled with baby fuss-muss-ness (yes, that is what I call her cranky days!). :) The overflow of my heart speaks out through my mouth (Luke 6:45). I want my heart to always be abundantly full and overflowing with love of my Heavenly Father so that I can train up my daughter, this next generation, in the ways of the Lord. I know that I can NEVER do this alone without the help of Jesus, encouragement from scripture and family/friends who are point me back to Jesus.

It is a great responsibility, holding the next generation in my arms and more than that training her in the ways of the Lord. But I am up for the challenge. How about you?

Father of Lies...

"You are wasting your time."

I spend most days sleep deprived, covered in spit up and singing crazy Raffi songs.

"These things don't 'really' matter."

I scoot around on the floor (more often than not in my jammies and with unbrushed hair), eat lunch over baby as I'm feeding her and pretty much sing my way through fussy tears and baby's tiredness with made up songs. (It seems singing our way through life makes the world a little easier to handle and diaper changes more bearable.)

"Don't you realize you are looking like a fool?!"

Piles of laundry and overflowing garbage often haunt me as does dust on the bookshelf and dust bunnies under the couch. (When have these things EVER been in my house before?!??)

"Keeping a clean house is the 'real' priority."

Unread magazines, unwatched movies, unpaid bill (not late bills!!), and the coupons I promised myself I would clip all sit on my coffee table beckoning for my attention.

"To be super mom, you really need to find time to do everything, including staying up on the latest gossip & TV shows and save every penny by clipping coupons."

Oh, yeah. I work full-time too! God has given me a perfect job, balanced with online and in-person hours. Even though I work mostly online from home, I still work full-time (despite what some people believe) while watching baby. Not an easy task when grading, lesson planning or advising. Oh- and the phone calls to students--I have resorted to shoving the pacifier in baby's mouth. (I hope I'm not doing permanent damage here!?) Really, it is working two full-time jobs at the same time while managing a household.

"Career should come first over raising a family, especially if you want to get anywhere in this life."

Some days after I put baby down for a nap or steal a mom-free moment while the cats entertain her (I love me some kitty entertainment!) and think, "Am I wasting my time? What in the world am I doing? Are any of these things in my chaotic life worth it?"

"Doing what you want over sacrificing for others is the only way to be truly happy."

LIES!!! LIES!!! LIES!!!

Everything I am doing IS worth it!! Why? Because it is a gift! EVERY BIT OF IT!! To working full-time as a mommy and wife to working full-time as an instructor to cleaning up after my husband, little human and kitties...it is all worth it!!

God reminded me of this verse in the Book of John 10:10,  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." 

And, boy, is my life full! You see, God is the giver of our hearts' desire (Psalm 37:4) not the world. To some my priorities may seem backwards as I prefer relationships over earthly success. Time with my husband and child over a clean house and neatly folded laundry. However, scripture says friendship with the world makes me an enemy of God (James 4:4). God has rescued me from far too much for me to turn my back on Him and seek selfish pleasures and earthly pursuits! He is the only reason for my joy! When I trust Him and walk with Him daily, no matter what crosses my path during a day, I see it ALL as worth it. Not necessarily easy, but worth it. God's heart is directed towards investing in people not things or activities.

Daily I GET to make the choice: Will I give into the "Father of Lies?" or Will I choose Life (Deut. 30:19)?

Some days this battle is more difficult than others. The italic quotes above win and I believe my life is meaningless, but more often than not though the Holy Spirit, scripture, friends, and my sweet daughter's face, my Heavenly Father reveals Himself. He proves Himself faithful over and over again. So, at least for today, I choose LIFE. I choose to believe what I am doing is NOT worthless, but the biggest blessing and gift....I hope and pray I feel this same way tomorrow, the day after and for the rest this lifetime.

Blessings.
~B~