Summer Sabbath: Patience & Trust

Last week, June, my 14-month old son had a follow-up appointment with the gastrointestinal department. Up until a few months ago it has been a struggle to get him to eat certain foods due to reflux and to teach him to drink from a bottle/sippy cup (he was born prematurely, with little chance of survival at birth).  Due to an overwhelmed schedule we MISSED his scheduled early December appointment. I have NEVER missed any appointment or follow-up.

I received a letter in the mail notifying me of the missed appointment and I was devastated! I was so anxious to have this appointment as well as meet with a dietitian but we some how overlooked it on our busy schedule and could not get rescheduled until last week.

At the time of receiving the letter, I called the office and gladly accepted the June appointment...even more anxious because it was 4-months out and anxious because I was concerned about my son.

Fast forward to the appointment: As I prepared the diaper bag to head out to the medical office, I had a smile on my face. I KNEW that my son no longer needed this service from the gastrointestinal department at the children's hospital. This appointment, which happened to occur during Sabbath Summer, made me realize the lack of patience and trust in my own life towards God and His plans/ways.

Since birth I have been concerned about my son's eating and digestion. I kept detailed charts and logs of medications, formula in-takes, solid foods consumed. Throughout his 14-months of life, doctors told me that our son would eventually grow out of many of these digestive issues and his three medications. Was it that I didn't want to believe them? Was it that I wanted to rush the process? I wanted answers then and there. I wanted our son to be "fixed" NOW! I was (still am) an exhausted, sleep deprived mother of three, stretched thin by my marriage, kids, full-time work, church involvement, friends... (the list goes on). I confess, I wanted it...him...to be fixed so that I could "move on" to other things. (I confess my pride here too!).

Now our son is a growing, healthy boy who is eating anything and everything without any restrictions (except for the size of his finger foods). I know that perspective is always 20/20 but this experience made me realize my lack of trust in God's ability to take care of our son (and us!).

It was a very good revelation that God showed me...that God is good even when we can't see it. He is working things out in His timing and in His way. He requires us to patiently endure in long-suffering and steadfastness in Him...even when we don't know the outcome or the path is not yet made clear. This is the same "skill" required for developing deepened relationships--steadfastness and patiently enduring the good and hard in relationships.

This experience also revealed to me that we cannot force God's hand. Outside His will, we might be able to force a solution, an outcome or control the situation in some way yet the results are unsatisfying, challenging and often times end up creating more stress and anxiety. Some situations just require TIME and PATIENCE. No matter how badly I wanted my son to be "fixed" or how many appointments I forcefully scheduled nothing would change the fact that God required TIME for my son to outgrow the struggles he as enduring which required me to patiently accept where our son was. Instead of wanting him to be at the end of this, to enjoy the PROCESS of reaching the end...pressing deeper into God rejoicing in His favor and embracing the discipline of patience.

Moving forward in this Sabbath Summer, I wish to adopt this discipline of patience: with God, with my husband, with my kids, with my friendships, with communication, with purchasing, with everything. I will attempt to see God moving before I predetermine my will verses God's will and His way.  I will practice patience which will also help me practice trust.