Sticking close to home has some amazing treasures-- staying in our PJs most of the day, enjoying the new, soft green grass in the backyard, endless laps run around our house and even a few visits to the fire station down the street and the play park at the school next door.
But in an attempt to make our home "more appealing" to the kids (as if the overflowing toy bin and the litter of outdoor toys isn't enough), I have found myself trying to make everything "special" which usually means adding in more sweet treats than usual, bending the rules, or purchasing "fun little" gifts to bring my kids "endless" joy. I realized that I have been trying to "buy" my kids instead of enjoying my kids...like having relationship isn't sweet enough on its own. This is a costly danger in more than one way!
Maybe this is where I have gone wrong in so many of my personal friendships too...expecting great "things" instead of the more simple, more authentic and more beautiful "things"-- conversation and connection.
There is a difference between the occasional surprise or the occasional "I will bend the rules about TV Friday and let you watch a show" kind of allowance but when it becomes a lifestyle, a go-to, it looses its "special-ness" and it truly takes away from the bond between a mother and child, father and child or a friend and friend. There becomes this expectation that, if unmet, leads to dissatisfaction. In truth, God is the only one who can truly satisfy us. No amount of worldly things (or sweet treats) can ever fill the void of longing/acceptance we have except for God.
Am I trying to be "god" to my child by trying to satisfy them in a way that only God can? Am I just pacifying them with treats as a means to just survive the day (trust me, some days this is TOTALLY worth it and okay)? Am I trying to earn their favor by being the "good-guy" through bent rules or exceptions? Whatever the reason, I know that money (or sweet surprises) will never be the solution. I also know that giving gifts as a means of love is a very slippery slope...once you start sliding down it is very difficult to stop. I want to teach our kids to love me (and others) for who I am (they are) not what my children can get from me (others). It is not about what a person can give you but rather who they are...hoping for deep and authentic connections through conversation and shared experiences. Again, don't hear me wrong, it can bring both the giver and receiver great joy in the thoughtfulness of gifts yet it should not be the primary means of expression of love. Really, what is comes down to is the heart motive.
So, where do I go from here? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe by starting to see "special" in our every day traditions like our devotions around the breakfast table or the "special-ness" of our post-dinner walk to feed the chickens across the street. It is about quality time engaging with my children, being present and listening to what interests them and playing into those interests. It is about asking my children for help as we prepare meals or make a grocery list...engaging in the simply everyday tasks and focusing on those things. Bringing life back into focus of the "root-of-family" that binds us together and brings our focus to the Lord, serving Him and serving the others around us. The adage, seek to serve, is one that I wish to teach my children. I want to serve them (and those around me). I desire my children to do that same. To do this, I must stop "buying" them with excessive "special-ness" and bent rules by focusing on just loving them for them...not what I can give them or what they can give to me in return but just love them for them.
Happy Sabbath Summer!
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