Playing the Victim

Good Morning World! It is Monday morning at 8:30am. I have had little sleep over the last week and have been struggling to take care of two sick littles and a husband who had his appendix removed 1-week ago.

Last Sunday, to our surprise, we were rushing to the ER at 6:30am. Our neighbor graciously came over to watch our two children as we were preparing our minds for potential surgery for my husband. After about an hour in the ER, we finally made it back to a room (with no official diagnosis yet). Here is were my struggle begins....

For the first time since I have had children, I had to choose between my husband and my children. It had already been an hour and I knew our 6-week old would need to nurse again soon and our 18-month old daughter would need breakfast. With a sad heart, I left the hospital room and rushed home to my babies. Shortly after I arrived at home, a good friend texted me and offered to take our oldest to church so that I could make my way back to the hospital before my husbands 10am surgery.

The day came and went and we survived the day. He made it out of surgery okay. A friend brought me lunch (THANK YOU!!) and baby boy slept on my chest almost the whole day in the baby carrier as I waited in the hospital for my husband. To my surprise, they let him out the same day...at 3pm! At least we could watch the Super Bowl. :)

The next day, Monday, was a huge challenge for me as I faced the real temptation to play the victim and over dramatize my life. You see, I had to take both sick kids to my daughter's 18-month old doctors appointment. Putting on my Wonder Woman panties, I fed both kids, prepared the diaper bag, loaded the car and made it to the appointment in one piece...with only a few tears and struggles along the way. After the appointment, I took two screaming kids through the pharmacy drive-thru to get pain meds/prescriptions for the husband...they would not be ready for 20-minutes! Seriously?!!?! Rushing home, I put the 18-month old down for a nap, loaded my 6-week old back into the car to pick to the drugs.

I feel like I have not been able to stop since then.

Last night I spent a "romantic" valentines day running to tend to the needs of my two very sick children, including the several screaming fits of my 18-month old because she was in so much pain (fever & virus on top of teething! What a combo!). And caring for my husband who worked two ER shifts, overdid it and is now back on the couch unable to help (although he really does want to help out!) But I am grateful for the 3-hours of sleep I got last night...lol.

In those sleepless nights and days this week, I have realized that it is easy to play the victim. Thinking I am the ONLY one in the history of humans to "suffer" this type of life. Between the laundry, dishes, making meals, nursing my son who apparently wants to nurse EVERY HOUR among trying to squeeze in Bible Study, grocery shopping, class prep (going back to work soon) and bill paying...all while my sick daughter SCREAMS at the top of her lungs in pain and my husband lays helpless on the couch (unable to do anything but tell me I am doing a good job)....I am overwhelming and exhausted to say the least!

But in all of this struggle, strife and temptation to play the victim, the Holy Spirit has been teaching me much about trials...

• James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that this testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

• 2 Corinthians 12:9: But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about  my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 

• Psalm 28:7: The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

It is in seasons like these that I am thankful for my faith. Thankful for the Holy Spirit whispering encouragement in my ear. Thankful for friends who have blessed us with meals (and doughnuts!). Thankful that God is the one who gives me strength.

So, I ask you....do you face the temptation to play the victim? To overdramatize your current situation? If so, trust the Lord. Trust His perfect timing for everything that is happening in your life. Trust that He is refining you. Trust that He works all things together for good. Trust the process...allowing your heart to be overwhelmed with His goodness rather than overwhelmed by the trials you face. Remember... "consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds...."