Resist & Enjoy: When you can't do either

This past week I have not done much "resisting" the rush or "enjoying" the life season we are in. I had great hopes for "Pumpkin Spice" season after a refreshing Summer Sabbath. But...

In plain words, life this past few weeks has sucked (and I don't ever use that word!).

The things I hoped for failed. The relationships I tried to build halted to a stop. Rejection slapped my face at least a dozen times and my children, those little darlings, are testing every bit of everything left that I have (which, to be honest, isn't a lot).

I ask the question with arms thrown to the sky, "God, what in the WORLD are you doing?"

The striping, the taking away, the pruning, the frustration....there has to be a purpose, right?

In this moment, God reminds me of this song "Closer" by Bethel Live:

Pull me a little closer
Take me a little deeper
I want to know Your heart
I want to know Your heart
`Cause Your love is so much sweeter
Than anything I've tasted
I want to know Your heart

I know God's character. I know that He is always at work. I know that His ways are not my ways but in my flesh today I cry out, "WHY GOD!!" In someways I resemble my toddler throwing a fit on the floor and in other ways I have simply just run out of productive ways to cope. We continue to wait, writhing, for God to reveal His plan for our family. In this time, I pull closer to God, not understanding what He is doing but rather knowing that at least He is doing something...even if I can not see it. We trust. We wait. We persevere. We pull back so that we can be plugged into the Source of all Rest and the Source of all Joy...the person Jesus.

Maranatha