Our schedule is back to full-swing, so to speak. All of our obligations have occurred at least once and we are on our way to a "normalized" routine (although every day still looks different).
Last year was one of the hardest of my life, filled with doubts and unknowns about our youngest and the stress of keeping up with work and life while raise two other toddlers.
This year we enter "pumpkin spice" season with a very new toddler at 1.5 years, an almost 3-yr old and a 4-yr old. Busy and overwhelming to say the least. I sit on the floor today almost in tears, feeling as if I can't keep up with these little treasures and work and maintain a household and a life. Not sure what to do, I bury my head in my hands and pray. What we "should" be doing is playing outside, enjoying the last few glimpses of the sunny weather. Guilt over takes me. But why?
I feel inadequate to the mother of these children. Words escape me when they need them the most and my tired body drags through the motions of lunch, dinner, bedtime...you want PB&J for lunch an dinner? Sure! That fits into the "healthy" food category, right? These things seem to matter less and less to me. Guilt again...because I SHOULD care about heathy, well-balanced meals. I try.
The days before us are busy but God is faithful. He is adequate. He has allowed me to mother these children. I cozy into Him for His extra grace, gentle pat on the back and a moments relief from the tantrums and toys being thrown around me. Thank you, Jesus, for my life! It could have been so much different. We could have only had two children, not three. I could be unemployed. We could not have a church or a place to live or..... this list of gratitude runs deep. So, here is to living life FOR Jesus and WITH Jesus, embracing the hard times and rejoicing in them. This season is just a new kind of hard but I am so grateful for it. May He get the glory. Amen.
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