Emmanuel: God with Us

My LIFE with Jesus, I pray is a reflection of the amazing work that He is constantly doing in me. I am no good on my own. He makes me worthy of everything I do!

I pray Jesus that my life will continually reflect your goodness and faithfulness to me. I pray my outlook will be outward and in serving others, not caught up in the busy tasks of my to-do list, but rather of SERVING those around me. Help me see things, people, situations through your eyes. I am grateful how much You have transformed me. I ask Jesus that you remind me of Your faithfulness day after day. I pray that my heart will desire to spend time with you....to dive deep into the mysteries in which you have set out for me to discover.

I thank you Lord for always being with me. You are my Emmanuel. Thank you that I can find rest, peace, and security in You!

You are the only one who deserves my worship. May my life (in all areas) focus on knowing You, being BOLD to proclaim Your truth to others, and be a life worthy of the call you have given me.

I praise you Lord.

~Amen~

Life with Jesus: ONE TRUE GOD

A life with Jesus is not always perfect, easy, or quick to adapt to. It is, however, eventful! My life with Jesus has evolved so much since I first really began to walk with Him in middle school. I reflect back on all of my "hardships" as a 13-year old and compare God's faithfulness to my hardships now as an adult.

God's character is still the same.

Yesterday and tonight I was asked to give my testimony on the boundaries that God has placed on my life. Many topics came to my mind including both emotional and physical boundaries God has given me. It is so encouraging to discover that other ladies ALSO have boundaries that God has given them too, despite being different than mine.

Tonight, I feel victorious in the Lord. I stood in front on how many women and confessed my stubbornness  pride, frustration and all the like about on boundary...now I feel free! God calls us to confess our sins and also to carry the burdens of others. In fellowship, conversation, and pray this is accomplished.

I am SO grateful that God has given me ladies who I can trust, exposing these boundaries to. I am so grateful for the LOVE God Himself gives me as I trust in HIM to provide for my every need and bring me protection along with comfort.

So, I end this blog tonight feeling encouraged, blessed, excited, and wanting more than ever to keep sharing my story so that people can see the ONE TRUE GOD through it.

May God receive all of the glory.
~AMEN~

"...in a dry and weary land"

Psalm 63:1: "O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

This week, I have been reflecting on this verse because of the conviction it brings. When I first read this I felt ashamed. In many ways I have lost my first love, Jesus. Yet in other ways I seem to follow hard after Him. When did my life become this duality of followership?

"I shall seek YOU earnestly."
In a culture that is very self-absorbed, I have found myself no different. Although I am better than I was, I often seek to please myself over pleasing God. This morning would be a great example....I have my Bible Study sitting up on the kitchen counter, papers that have been left ungraded, and emails from students who are needing help. Yet, how did I spend the last 3 hours......? Watching Grey's Anatomy, following friends on Facebook, looking up recipes on Pinterest....generally being lazy. I do think it is good to have days every once and a while in which relaxation (aka laziness) is valuable, BUT that does not mean to push off the Holy Spirit when He whispers in my ear, "Come, spend time with Me." Ashamed! Convicted! I have been found out!

Lord, please help me EARNESTLY, WHOLE-HEARTILY seek you because I know that you can always be found. And when I find you, there you give me rest! Help me learn how to apply this in my life today!

"My soul thirsts for You."
To be honest, when I read this I was thinking things like: My soul thirsts for Starbucks, maybe a glass of wine....OH and a smoothie! Okay, I know that that is NOT what this passage is talking about, but I think about these earthy cravings I have and how my thirst for the Lord does not even compare. (Insert sad face here).

I remember a few summers ago when it was in the 80's during the "cool" of the evening. I was driving home from somewhere I had just HAD to pull into a gas station for water because I was SOOOO parched. This is a good reminder of how I should live EVERY DAY! I should need so desperately the LIFE and the "water" that only Jesus can provide so much so that I am WILLING to stop, pull my life over to the side of the road and have communion with my Lord. I pray that this will become the desire of my life.

"My flesh yearns for you."
Again, like above, this is not the first thing that I thought of when I thought about what my "flesh yearns" for. I thought of things like: being number one at work, striving to be the "best" friend, trying to be a better runner. etc. These things, when put in the proper place, are not bad. YET-- they should not be my number one desire for living. My number one desire for living should be to GLORIFY CHRIST IN ALL THAT I DO.

(I like [and dislike at the same time] that ALL means ALL...adding just a bit more conviction).

How do I live my life daily as to share Jesus with others? It is easy to say that people will know Him by my actions....yes, this is true, BUT how am I talking about Jesus (or am I talking about Him at all?).

I know that I talk a lot about my husband and my friends who are here on earth. Am I giving the same (if not MORE) talk time about Jesus?

(OUCH! More conviction!)

"...in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
I have to realize that this world is pale, empty and poor compared to knowing the Lord (as the song goes). It is TRUE! This earth is dry, weary, sad and offers no real HOPE, but I am thankful that I serve the GOD OF HOPE. I need to remember to seek Him first and seek Him earnestly. I need to thirst for Him because He is the only one who can quench my soul. I need to yearn for Him above the things of this world. And I need to remember that this world is dry and weary, but I serve and love a God who gives HOPE, LIFE, LOVE, and GRACE.

I pray you are blessed today as you feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit and are moved to put Him first in your life above all other things.

To God Be the Glory.

Convictions from a Lazy Heart

Hello Dear Ones-

It truly has been a long while since I have posted. My confession: my lazy heart.

In September, I committed to join and study the Book of Genesis with a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) group. I did great.....until week nine came around. Yikes!

The typical things got in the way and the common phrase, "I am really busy" became my excuse. Yes, I was busy, but to my dismay, my busyness lead me to push out God.

So, now that I am on "break" from my job until January, I thought I would catch up on the 4 lessons I have missed, starting at Genesis chapter 10--- the Tower of Babel.

As I began to read the BSF notes on chapters 10 and 11, I felt a sadness in my heart for the people who deliberately chose to forsake God for their own selfish ambitions. They desired to be known and worshiped among their peers. They wanted the power and recognition  They wanted to be in control. They worked long and hard to build this beautiful and tall tower....for their own selfish confidence.

To be honest, I was appalled at their decision to chose selfish gain and selfish confidence over God. And then.......God showed me that I have been very much like these people that I loathed.

God revealed to me my personal expressions of pride, situations where I have called attention to myself (and away from God), and moments where I purposely chose to honor my own heart instead of God's heart.

How can we humans fall into the same repetitive traps (and so quickly?!?!)? How do our hearts become so lazy yet pride full?

The BSF lesson notes asked some very pointed questions:

• How have you taken satisfaction in other people's support more than in God's closeness?
• What are you doing right now that might really be for your own advancement and not for God?
• Where have you deliberately chosen NOT to exalt God's name or His Word?

These are all good questions to ask no matter where you are in your relationship with God. I know that my lazy heart has caused WAY more harm then good! Are you aware of the areas in your life that you tend to put off because of laziness, pride, selfishness, etc.?

God calls us to present ourselves to Him FULLY! I am more convicted of this then ever especially as we enter this special season of Christmas when God purposely sent His Son to live on this earth among the lazy-hearted.

The best gift that you can give this Christmas is a clean, pure heart with obedience, trust and faith. Jesus is waiting to receive this from each of us......

~B~

A Gift: Food Allergies

Paul, a well-known apostle of Jesus, once talked about the “thorn in his flesh,” the one thing that kept him reliant on the Lord. Although he never reveals to his readers what this metaphorical thorn was, we can certainly learn from his struggle and surrender.

Asking the Lord three times to remove this particular “thorn,” God never did. I wonder why.

I have many struggles that are hard, if not impossible to overcome. Some are emotional while others are physical…my food allergies!

In the recent weeks, I think I have developed an intolerance to dairy. The last two nights, you could find me either curled up on the floor or on my bed gasping from intense stomach cramps. The first night I think I got only 2 hours of sleep because of the pain.

At first, I felt self-pity….”Why me!?!?” “Really? One more thing to add to my list of 10 food allergies?!?!” “Why now, Lord?!”

This is the conversation occurred in my head as my husband rushed out to find some type of medical relief….I am now VERY thankful for the creators of Lactaid! J

Yet last night, day two of the stomach cramps, as a laid frustrated and restless in bed, the Lord revealed to me Paul’s story mentioned above. Just like Paul, God has “gifted” me with my food allergies (and now dairy intolerance) as a means to press more into Him and to draw me closer to Himself. Could it be that the Lord is saving me from something that I cannot see? Is he protecting me from something that could/would happen if I did not have these “presents?”

I believe that God works all things together for good…even food allergies and dairy intolerances! Whether these things came on simply because we live in a fallen world or because my body chemistry has changed, the reason does not matter. God uses all creation to testify about His glory.

It is easy to see allergies, lost jobs, sick kids, or any other obstacle as a pure burden. I have only found grief, frustration, and anger when I look at things like these as burdens. Instead, I am trying to see them as gifts, as presents, as God protecting me from something bigger…from something I cannot see.

What has God brought into your life that on the surface looks like a burden, but is actually a blessing?

Opportunity or Inconvenience?

God calls us to be a light to the seeing world, to represent Him everywhere we go. This often takes place during our normal work hours, a planned trip to the grocery store, or during a prayer meeting at church…in those regularly scheduled functions of our daily lives where we are readily seeking opportunities to share. Yet, how is our reaction when God brings about an opportunity to share with someone about His saving grace but it is at an inconvenient time?

For me, this happened twice in one day. And, boy, was I convicted about my reaction at the end of the day!

You see, I teach online classes during the summer; and more often than not you can find me at home, still in my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon. I sit on my cozy leather couch as I grade papers and answer emails.

On this particular day, someone knocked on my door around 9am. By this time, I have barely rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, had sipped my homemade latte, or fixed my “beautiful” morning out-of-bed pony tail. A little frustrated, I stood up, put my computer aside, and went to the door. “Who is it?” I asked…three times! No answer. I peeked out the side window and saw a young girl who looked like she was upset. I opened the door to find a woman standing in front of her…wanting to “evangelize” me. First I was frustrated because I was interrupted (and barely awake). Secondly because there was no reply when I asked who was at the door. Thirdly, I was upset to solicited by another religious group who ignored my nicely painted and prominent “No Soliciting” sign. Needless to say, I was not the sweetest person when a track was being forced into my hand. Cutting off the woman, I think I ended up harshly saying something like, “Please, just don’t bother me with your religious stuff! I have my faith. I love Jesus. Now, take me off your list or whatever. Have a nice day.” I shut the door, pick up my computer and continued to work. 

Failed opportunity #1!

Later in the day, maybe around 3:30pm, a young man from the Honeywell Home Security company comes walking up to my door. By this time, I had showered, gotten dress, and had a meal in my belly. I was not as frustrated as I was earlier in the day. In the middle of preparing dinner, I put down my kitchen utensil and opened the front door. He was a pleasant man, trying to diligently earn his pay by selling home security systems. After asking if I was interested, I kindly said no and pointed out that there was a “No Soliciting” sign posted on the front steps. Taking a step back, he located the sign. I could tell almost immediately that he felt bad for knocking on the door. After a quick exchange, he asked if I knew anyone else in the neighborhood who might be interested. I said no and gently closed the door, walking back into the kitchen. 

Failed opportunity #2!

In both of these stories (that just so happened on the same day!), I saw an inconvenience, not an opportunity. Towards the end of my day, I was wrestling with my reactions. In the first story, I had the amazing opportunity to share about how God moves in my life and answers my prayers daily. In the second story, I had the opportunity to share that God alone is my security, not necessarily a home alarm system (although there is nothing bad to have one or not to have one).

I was simply so caught up in MY life and MY order of business and MY priorities, that I quickly saw these God given opportunities as mere inconveniences and annoyances. I hope in the future I will react differently. I pray that my heart will be more in tune with God then with my schedule of events/planned activities.

Where in your life have you chosen to see God’s opportunities as inconveniences? In these moments, I have to realize that this world is not my home. My citizenship is in Heaven! I hope my heart and attitude in EVERY situation reflect this as well as God’s grace and love. 

On Grieving: Oh Glorious Day

One month ago yesterday, I lost a dear friend in a motorcycle accident. He was 31-years old; survived by his beautiful bride of 9 years and two adorable children, 9 and 7.

This month has been a month of processing, reflecting, grieving, and accepting what happened on July 4, 2012 around 4pm.

Like the ocean waves, my grief comes in waves. One moment I am doing okay; and the next, my heart breaks for the lost (and how it is affecting his family and my friends.)

Yesterday, a group from church held a garage sale to raise money for the family. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of the patrons, yet sad as I told them what we were raising money for. Some people knew about the purpose behind the sale and others were deeply saddened when they heard.

In a way, it was good to share what had happened…almost healing. Yet in another way, it made it real all over again. I know that grief has no timeframe and no real end point; but I pray that it will get easier with time for me and everyone affected (especially his family!).

Today in church we were singing “Oh Glorious Day.” Here are the lyrics that touched me:

Oh, Glorious Day

Oh, Glorious Day

One day the trumpet will

Sound for His coming

One day the skies with His

Glories will shine

Wonderful day

My beloved was bringing

Glorious Savior this Jesus is mine

Never more in my life have I desired Jesus to part the clouds and come down to earth. With recent events, my eyes have been opened to the hurt and sorrow in this world. How I would LOVE to see the Jesus that my friend is now enjoying in Heaven. How I would love to have Jesus as our focus. I guess that is the real hope of my faith, the promise of spending eternity with Jesus. This has also been the one hope that is getting me through this whole situation.

I am thankful to have a Jesus who hears me, comforts me, and never leaves me.

If you pray, please pray for all of us who are still grieving from this terrible lost. I know that His ways are not our ways; and His time not our time. 

“Lord, help us embrace this and turn to you daily as our hope!” ~Amen~